RED is life - blood. love. passion. ORANGE is healing - happiest color. funky. fun. fruity. YELLOW is sunlight - sunny. happy color. energy. joy. GREEN is nature - green life. peace. ecology. soothing. calming. BLUE is serenity - peace. tranquility. quiet. PURPLE is spirit - mysterious. eccentric. lifestyle. BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE AND LET YOUR TRUE COLORS SHINE.
no, nothing special in particular that I mentioned about that. just. like the colors, and yes, maybe we should let our true self shown.
I dun understand why must we hide, so many things. even between friends? I've warn, and hinted so much about honesty. where have everything gone to? where's the promises between us? I guess I've seen through everything. how much I'm upset over it. I'm more of disappointment. angry, yes. but what else can I do? one falls so deep, trust the other one so much. one got confused, lying to both and wanna disappear for now? no. I want everything to be settle. since what done cannot be undone, then settle it right now, clear all shit before U take ur leave. I start to wonder what U said to me. is it true? all it's a lie from the start. DUN. keep things from me anymore. I need to know. how much U emphasize on friendship. how much U said to be there. yet I'm actually always the last to know everything about anything. Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along the bitterness. &I would have stay up with you all night. Had I known, How To Save A Life.
when you let love down, you let me down.
2:03:00 AM
Saturday, August 29, 2009
incaseyoudon'tknow. ithurts.
Let me hold you for the last time It's the last chance to feel again But you broke me, now I can't feel anything
When I love you and so untrue I can't even convince myself When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else
Oh, it tears me up I tried to hold on but it hurts too much I tried to forgive but it's not enough To make it all okay
You can't play our broken strings You can't feel anything That your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, what are we doing? We are turning into dust Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire When there's nothing left to say It's like chasing the very last train When it's too late, too late
Oh, it tears me up I tried to hold on but it hurts too much I tried to forgive but it's not enough To make it all okay
You can't play our broken strings You can't feel anything That your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse How can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before?
But we're running through the fire When there's nothing left to say It's like chasing the very last train When we both know it's too late, too late
You can't play our broken strings You can't feel anything That your heart don't want to feel I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse So how can I give anymore When I love you a little less than before? Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time It's the last chance to feel again
dunno how should I put it. it keeps appearing in my mind. when it's so hurtful.
my gastric is not helping. it's killing me. I'm being stab so hard. I dun even know why.
I need to stand up again, stand strong again.
U're the best, U're happy with life, I'm just not. goodbye.
11:31:00 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I hate Kelroy Wee. her post made my eyes watery. U should feel glad, I read post. hah. I hate Joachim, for saying such words to make me so dumbfounded. I hate U, for not able to let go, to move on. I hate you, for being there, for me, going through so much more..
2day wasnt a good day for me, yesterday midnight was, worse. I dunno where should I start. okay, I'm actually stuck with my words, I actually typed, and backspace and typed and backspace again and again.
I hate everything now. how stuck I am feeling.
1. "maybe we'll drift.." is still in my mind. it hurts to see those words coming out from U. what have we promised? about we gonna be there for each other no matter what? and the next msg came by.. "I miss you, a lot.." why. why this and then that? hurt me then melt me. why.
2. "I just wanna let you know.. I'm still holding onto you. not letting go yeah.." is also in my mind now. if there's no feelings in the very starting, why start? true enough. I guess there's so much more, than just this. something for me to find out, for you to tell me more..
3. why, are those posts there. why aint U going anywhere till now. why. tell me. I dun like seeing U upset, U're my friend, my dear. and yet, U're thinking every night about things that.. somehow I cant know? or U dun wanna let me know cos U know my replies.. I'm sorry.
4. hate U most. why didnt U let me know. it's not too late still I guess. I belief in fate, I dun want things to change, either. U know how much everything mean to me, I know U know me well. friends, love, who's 1st, who's next, U know me inside out. U cherish everything, so do I..
5. "I'll keep this band glowing, & i'll smile each night, knowing you're with me, Xiaojun." tell me what does this mean? tell me now now now! I expect an explaination.. I stared at the band yesterday night, and it's glowing, so bright. I texted,"look at the band, every night. when it's glowing, means I'm still there. look, is it glowing now? I'm looking at mine, and it's still glowing bright." not forgetting this I'm sure. I swear it mean so much more, now. I'm hoping it'll glow every moment now, to know that U're there. I know U will be there, girl..
6. I hate today, for me, trembling all the way throughout. tell me why, am I so weak. I'm a loser. I'm lousy. go no where. nobody.
7. tell me why whenever I drink, it appears? why it appears and hurt me time and time again. why do people ask when they see it. it's like a knife stabbing me heart, esp when I'm alone.. without you.
8. maybe I'm.. not good enough.
I'm fine, soon.
11:33:00 PM
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
if stars would fall everytime I think of you, the sky would soon be empty..
12:18:00 AM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Happy Birthday Yeo Yuan Yuan!
how nice, to be able to catch up with U. we always miss out so much bcos of my packed schedule. we always have so much to talk to. glad that U enjoyed the day with us. heh. and the silly gift that we got for U. wear that "watch"! lolololol.
Marche, Carl's Jnr, then Ben & Jerry. heee. so much fun with girls, AND Joachim :D:D:D:D!
alright. Kelroy was hardcore complaining and upset over this. seems like the kayaker has become a dragonboat-er. LOL! her jibbitz broke! and it cannot be found anymoreeeee. awww ): sad yes. but well, U should see her expression. *holding her Crocs on hand "ehhh!" and frown. tsk tsk.
and this! was my creation randomly. heeee. so cute horrr! lol. supposed to have Ade and Angeline too but they left early ): Ben & Jerry was our last destination. we messed up the whole place I guess. lol. drawing, bullshit, took pictures. "tattoo-ing". BAH! so nice to have a few good friends around U (((: after which, left. was late.. Joachim didnt wanna go home early. accompany him to void deck and had a little heart to heart talk. I guess that was the 1st time, I see him, quiet down, with watering eyes. I guess there's so much more to talk about. but it's just not the time yet. oink.
yesterday night was BAD )): text messages, your thoughts, your honesty, makes me wonder. thunder, lightning, loathe that. really pray hard that my guardian angel will be with me, coax me to sleep but no, no one's there. I was feeling a little better after the call, I'm glad, totally. my heart just couldnt stay calm and steady anymore. it just keeps beating faster each time I took a breathe. I hugged my bolster so tight and I guess it cant tolerate my "scratch" anymore :O! the noise that my air con made nearly shock me to death. I dare not move. I dare not open my eyes. I forced myself to sleep. under my blanket, myself alone. it's over..
there's many more pictures la. but I'm lazy to upload everything here.
leaveme. moveon.
10:44:00 PM
Monday, August 17, 2009
FYI, my haircut (: fringe too short, as usual. okay just wait and see. LOL!
breakfast with Joachim and met up with Kelroy. we were all late. woowow. nice breakfast, it had been long since we last go school togetherrrr. and I guess there wont be many chance to do so anymore )):
ADDING ON; oh my. so emotional now. we took a few pictures after break and DA LAH~ here goes my edition. so cute hor! ((: it's like. I guess we 3 are the closest even though the sem. is short, we spent every moment together, with joy. Joachim, 5 days, imagine that, seeing this clown for 5days. HAH! we text every morning,"HELLO GOING FOR LESSON TODAY?!" and praying hard everytime to be in the same team. Kelroy, 3 days, and it's always fun to have 3 of us together cos THREE OF US = MORE NONSENSE! heh. how do we get close?! I remembered, during Health & Wellness, Joachim and I started laughing at some classmates, and we added Kelroy into the conver. then 3 of us totally burst into laughter and the other wondered why. we aint crazy, but just in our world. cant really find the words to express my thoughts. I hope I will still be in the same class for some modules, if not, I'll just die )): anywayyyy, check out http://childishdelights.blogspot.com/, and start crying! OINK ))):
Satarday's training, my 2nd male partner in my canoeing life, Hairul. hahahahaha! it's really a good experience to compete with the guys, when ur partner is a guy. heh. oh well. Kelroy's knee hurts, and Ben's back hurts. so oh well oh well. Hairul and I got pair up. it was, really good. okay, shall disown Kelroy. LOL! no laaaaa. I guess we can do as good as well ((: burst it all out, long hard, and here we go again, Kelroy ((: P.S. hope U like thelittle apple. it nearly kill me, seriously. LOL!
straightjacket feeling. uoyssimI.
11:11:00 AM
Friday, August 14, 2009
GAH! I'm finally have the time to update. RAHHHH! should I, or should I not cut my hair? I'm like.. BAH. it's so thick. but I wanna maintain this length, just a little messy, a little neat I guess. time to handle my hair. guess I would prolly cut by this week when I get my allowance. DANG.
didnt go for lesson today. happily slept till 830 then realised, I wasnt really that tired but guess I was just lazy to get outta bed. BED LEHHH! U CAN RESIST MEH! hahaha. and my "oh smell so good" bolster. LOL! *huggies! slept till 2 plus. and finally got outta bed. had instant noodles with lots of veggies, I swear it's shiokness. heh!
can U believe it? I'm still trying to learn that stupid song. it just keep repeating on my playlist, and still, the words are so difficulttttttt! 月桂女神. thanks to Kelroy laaaa. lol. we need to have some practice together! wahahha. so retro now laaa. watching all those mv. few years back, it's a pop song, now, it's prolly neglected.
meeting Angeline and Gary laterrrrr. OINK. it's always a GOODDIEEE FRIDAY for us. heh. gossips, chill, shopping, bullshit. full of nonsense. no time for meet ups, and so every Friday is the day to (: I guess it's time for me to catch up with the rest of my friends toooooo! dragging way too long. DEAD. bah!
6km run yesterday almost killed me. the sun was, unbearable. thanks for the encouragement though(: and also, those ankle guard. if not it might be worse. GAH. guilty still but well. tastetherainbow(:
JTDO, get well soooon! this dumb boy, managed to catch up a little in class yesterday. it seems like I haven seen him for quite some time, and this sem. gonna end. gonna miss this boy who is in the same class for my 5 modules. all his jokes, and stupid actions, making my lesson better (: and and and! the Rainbow Shoelace and Nerd Rope! (((((: brighten up my day, definitely. missed today last IPA lesson. heard the class was pathetic. I'm sorrry guys, really. last lesson with Minghee, last lesson with Bernice, last lesson with MEIMEI, last lesson with Beehoon. no more ))): Monday, Health & Wellness. BAH! like. so fast, the sem is ending. next sem., who will be same class as me for 5 days and also bring joy to my lesson, I dunno. haiyehhh. so sad huh. ya I am actually. though wanting this sem. to end cos of some reasons, but well, it's nice to meet everyone in the class stillllllll. oink. pls meet up, Bestest..
pls tell me that I've got a place in ur heart.. 月桂树漂香那夜风恋月光我的爱很不一样..
5:32:00 PM
Saturday, August 08, 2009
Run away with my heart Run away with my hope Run away with my love
I know now, just quite how My life and love might still go on In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time
11:57:00 PM
Monday, August 03, 2009
It's never enough to say I'm sorry It's never enough to say I care But I'm caught between what you Wanted from me, and knowing If I give that to you I might just disappear.
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
Oh, it's like
One step forward and two steps back No matter what I do you're always mad And I can't change your mind,
Oh, it's like
Trying to turn around on a one way street I can't give you what you want And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see Maybe we're not meant to be
It's never enough to say I love you No, it's never enough to say I try It's hard to believe that's there's No way out for you and me And it seems to be, The story of our life
Nobody wins when everyone's losing
It's like one step forward and two steps back No matter what I do you're always mad And I can't change your mind, oh It's like trying to turn around on a One way street. I can't give You what you want and it's killing me And I, I'm starting to see That maybe we're not meant to be
There's still time to turn this around Should we be building this up Instead of tearing it down But I keep thinking Maybe it's too late.
It's like one step forward And two steps back, No matter what I do You're always mad and I Can't change your mind, oh It's like tryin to turn around On a one way street I can't give you what you want And it's killing me and I, I finally see, Baby we're not meant to be
;when both overcome so much. and went through uncountable difficulties. and when it's gone, just in a moment..
breakfast with Joachim and met up with Kelroy. we were all late. woowow. nice breakfast, it had been long since we last go school togetherrrr. and I guess there wont be many chance to do so anymore )): 
