✰that photographer; 'cause I'm the next big thing.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

this must be it
welcome to the new year
the drinks were consumed
the plants were destroyed and the hor'deurves dismantled
i'm not smiling behind this fake veneer
i am often interrupted or completely ignored
but most of all i'm bored
i'm trying to find out if my words have any meaning
lackluster and full of contempts when it always ends the same
why won't you listen to me
why did i come
oh why did i come here
these humans all suck
i'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely
i'm not trying to sound so insincere
but the postcard that's taped to the freezer reads "wish you were here"
how i wish i could disappear
i'm trying to find out if my words have any meaning
lackluster and full of contempts and it always ends the same
heads up damage control there's a ring around her finger
last chance for changing lanes and you missed it by a mile
why won't you listen to me
this must be it
welcome to the new year

so, hate me if you want to.
cos who knows, I might be hating you too.
you all won't appreciate, don't appreciate. two different things, don't you all know?

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

12:42:00 AM
Saturday, March 24, 2007

Against the Light. Enjoy. =)

I'm sleepy already. shall update more 2moro.

say you miss me again. cos I'm missing you. where'd you go?

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

12:55:00 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2007

[Hair tied. cool hurr! =D]

SORRY GUYS! I know I promised a post after my birthday yet nothing's done. ahhhh. had been really drop dead. didnt spend my holiday as what I planned. stupid. didnt even get enough sleep. BOOHOO. and I got 100 and 1 things! problems here and there. it's making me more emo! sharks. what is this..

and of cos. thank you MARKCUS!!!! =)))

www.markcus-fool.blogspot.com

well well. will update this weekend. I PROMISE!!!! cos I got so many things 2 say. so many people 2 thank. so many pictures 2 post!

I never thought of breaking any promises.. and I'll never. trust me.

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

11:23:00 PM
Thursday, March 15, 2007

not posting much here. just wanna thanks those who send me a sms. =) also..

THANK YOU SHIRLEY!!!!!!!!
read her blog, U'll know why. heh.
http://www.simply-serendipitous.blogspot.com/

shall c where 2 go LATER. ha. I dunno. sleeping at home should b a gd idea. bleahh. what a birthday, with nothing 2 say. whatever. I'm feeling emo. =\

and I love my blog's song.. sigh.

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

that's it.

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

2:01:00 AM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007

this makes me nearly burst in2 tears.

I dunno. it's always so hard 2 4 in Love. and yet, I always love the wrong person. 2 b frank, I think I'm afraid 2 fall in Love cos of the previous hell confession. boo. I know there's gonna be all different kinds of people reading my entry, but I cant b bothered. cos I'm feeling.. rather confused. is that the 1 who can make my life beautiful? is that the 1 who can make me smile? or I gonna have another flop? again? and it's again? it's a deal. a promise. orhh well, it can b broken anytime. I'm rather jealous of that, but do I have the right 2? sharks. I dun wanna 4 in Love.

I hear Nothing, but Music.

this birthday, buy me Affection.

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

12:22:00 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007

that's a deal between us. this is how we gonna start. whether there's a conclusion not, we aint sure. and so, be my superman.

SCHOOL HOLIDAY!! roarr! hahaha. finally. guess after this holiday, there wont b anymore holiday which I can sleep? hee. well, stupid enough. bcos my body's used 2 the "waking up early" system, I cant sleep till later afternoon anymore. =( I woke up around 11 plus. b4 that, I did woke up and fall asleep time and time again. so RIDICULOUS!! hate it hate it hate it! =\

PLANS.-
1. touch up my work. [esp D&T. =x]
2. revision for ALL subjects. [yes, I mean all. why r ur eyes so big staring? haha.]
3. get enough SLEEP! [and yes, why r U guys wondering? this is important k!]
4. take a break. [break doesnt mean SLEEPING, so yeahh. it's 2 diff thingy. heh.]
5. night life! [woohoo. that includes my midnight show, drink etc. dun stop me. bleahh!]
6. morning life. [hahaha. ridiculous! but I wanna jog in the morning. 2 absorb nutrients from the sunlight. =D and 2 keep fit. orhh, this fat little JUN!]

yeahh, that's it. I dunno whether I can follow my plans accordingly not. but I'd started Math, D&T and Chem. I hope it's a gd start! =D and I wanna do my D&T after blogging. so I can enjoy my life at night later! woohoo. join me, dudes? =)

yesterday was a Simple day! and I love it. thanks 2 twt and cck. lol. well, twt and me supposed 2 meet up in the morning 4 breakfast. but well, we r both sleepyhead. okay okay, it's me fine? lol. cos twt managed 2 wake up and bath. but.. it's gonna b 11! and we wanted 2 have breakfast! so.. I cancelled it. lol. so we supposed 2 meet at 2pm SHARP 4 lunch. and that twt fall asleep again and woke up about 3 plus! she worried me like anything. cos she didnt reply my sms lahh! BOO. and so she replied about 3 plus. she was guilty, so came over 2 je 2 meet me. HEHE. then cck came 2. cos they wanna buy cards. ate LJS. gosh. and it's making us sick. bleahh. went popular. I bought my Chem series! that red 1. I cant rmemeber if it's cheaper, just buy. gonna "chiong" this holiday. lol. twt cant decide what cards 2 buy, heh! and I found a few sweet 1s. lol. believe she loves it, and the people she's gonna give will love the cards 2! =) GD LUCK TWT! =)
we spent quite some time in Popular. then we were talking about earpiece. cos mine was spoilt. I want that Zen's mp3 player! =(( cos it's bulky and small. my mp3 player's batt seems spoilt. sigh. cck got an idea! "go suntec!" hahaha. so 3 of us went. wearing very ugly shorts and tee. lol. cant imagine I go that far wearing that. bleahh. *faints. there's a lot a lot a lot of people. cant stand it. hate it hate it! and we were somehow kinda STUCK. boohoo. hmm. so we found the headphones. I bought it. atthe cashier, the 2 troublesome kids suddenly said they want it 2. so 3 of us got the same headphones. LOL. not badd arr. it would b better if the bass could b louder. =x=x went suntec's Starbucks. woo. A LOT OF PEOPLE! but the ambience's great! =) took a bus back 2 panjang, cos f the 2 kids again! told them train would b gd. =\ I nearly puke in the bus! was standing, and it's humid. cant breathe. *PUKE. reached panjang, had some kopitiam food and home we go. haha. guess what, ben was in a cab which stopped bside us cos we just crossed the road like nobody's business! lol. thanks 2 cck lahh. okay, thanks 2 careless xiaojun 2. lol. cos I wont bother, I will follow. =x didnt c him in the cab lahh! is he smsed me. lol. it's like.. SO RIDICULOUS! and yeahh, so coincidental. so we were sms-ing on my way back home.

home! and we were chatting online. that's a deal, that's a promise.

and orhh yahh, I finally meet shir on sat! we had fun at hollandv and panjang! hee. and I had fun, bcos I'm with Shirley! =) *loves.

15 - 12 = 3!
3 more days, I'm getting OOOOLLLLDDDDD.
and if U ask me how, I'll ask U how. =\
this birthday, I want all my beloved 1s 2 b happy with me.

you said you will be my superman. MY superman..
amend my heart..

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

12:19:00 PM
Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I dunno. I dun think I wanna know. so I'm at fault? I'm really stuck. done done. everything should b this way then. it just makes me more and more tired each time. b4 or after, nothing changes. and I'm stupid enough. thinking if I'm back, U'll b more committed. orhh well, how naive I am. I'm doing all this 2 some1 who dun bother at all. laugh at me guys, LAUGH.
HA! YOU'RE SUCH A FAILURE, XIAOJUN.

I pasted 2 plasters, cos I wanna wear shoes 2day. hate those slippers days! but wearing shoes is making the wound worse. I changed the plasters in class 2day. well, I know it's gross. but.. it's really giving me hell! =(((((((

okay. this is the dumb-est thing I can ever do. I came straight home after sch cos U always complain I'm home late. always stay in sch till late hours. or GO OUT after sch. I'd been trying so hard 2 b home early every weekdays cos I'm tired. I'M TIRED. I asked if U'll b cooking4 dinner, U asked me 2 cook. =\ HA. if only me myself got the energy 2. I told U I wanna go IMM and ask when U guys having dinner, cos I dun wanna miss the dinner with the family again and again. but I was really hungry and so I wanna buy some snacks from IMM. U scolded me and said."not so soon. why r U always out and not at home? UP 2 U!" and 3 of U r happily playing mahjong. am I still alive or dead? fine, so I stayed at home, time flies yet U guys were still playing outside, with lots of NOISE. I fell asleep, pls, any1 can take the tiredness? so it's wrong 2 sleep? U woke me up only when it's about 8. I dun bother, cos I DUN WANNA HAVE MEALS WITH A BUNCH OF STRANGERS LIKE U GUYS! the worse thing was, when I heard.. "yeahh yeahh. only if I allow U 2 go IMM then U'll b soo happy and energitic. once I dun allow, U r drop dead!" and I purposely woke up after they left. straight after they left. HA. what a joke!
I HATE IT. orhh pls. I dun need 2 c whether U allow or not 2 go 2 such a place call IMM. it's NEAR cant U c? as if I had meet some1 there. dun they know I'm ALWAYS alone? but does that matter? dun booshit with me with all nonsense. I'm tired, U complain. I'm out doing work, U complain. hey. have U ever ask me anything? after all this booshitting, every1 left. HA. they shook me ONCE. ONE PATHETIC TIME and LEFT! I woke up, withh darkness. should I just leave now? or wait 4 death?
HOME? haha. what a place call HOME.

I really need the 1 week break. 2 study, 2 sleep, 2 slack, 2 touch up, 2 reflect. and 2 realise how dumb I m..

hold me tight and fly with me.

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

8:30:00 PM
Monday, March 05, 2007

it's another day gone..
just back from Starbucks. went over 2 study Chemistry. maybe bcos I missed it during saturday. so.. yupp, I'm there 2day. with my green tea frapp. and wt.
I got sooo low confident 4 Chemistry test.. few hrs later? DEAD. the formulaes r freaking me out! I know how 2 do. just the formulaes. bleahh. just like I know how 2 do Math but 4gotten all those formulaes once I'm anxious. boohoo.

I shouldnt b like a Pig and sleep the whole day yesterday. should have spend my night wisely. and I mean WISELY. I did dnt. just dnt and fall asleep. come come, weekends. my dnt folio is soo not presentable, and I'm irate with myself. not 4getting my CME project 2! I hope my group still remember what 2 do and done their work, I hope. stop calling me a PIG yeahh? I'm such a human! =\

MY LEG IS IN PAIN!!! I just got my WORST showering process just now. boo! the wound is watery, with blood. I cant stand it. ask wt, she'll freak out! =x and I freak out 2. the plain pure white cotton turned RED. and I mean RED. I'll b wearing sandals 2moro. it's soo ugly with sch uni. yucks. but do I have a choice? =((((((
I'm like.. so pathetic. crippled home just now! =((

btw, I smell Great with OCEANUS! =))

it's a friendship thingy. ;-)

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

1:06:00 AM
Sunday, March 04, 2007

I got too much to say. boo. I detest my Life.

am I tooo much? or.. what? I dun think I can have the courage to face all these nonsense anymore. simple reason is,
I'M TIRED. just sick and tired. did U really notice it? just cant b fagged? I dunno. I dunno U. U're such a stranger to me. and now, I dun wanna know U. cos U disappoint me time and time again. I had enough. and so, I guess I shall stop concerning so much. cant believe that I'm a fool again. again and again. fine. I dont need an explanation from U anymore. cos I cant take it if it's a broken promises again. AGAIN.
"r U still angry?" that's not the main point. angry is not a word 4 my feelings. not disappointing either. it's just.. I'm tooo tired to even bother about it. I dun wanna face another flop.

dont tell me things cant b solved by talking. is there a need 2 scream, yell, shout? as if there's no tomorrow? stop that NOW. it's getting hectic. life's hectic. cos whenever U need some Peace, U got all thos rubbish. I ran. I ran and ran. just to leave. and reach a place where I can have some Peace. not more. I just need some. why cant U fulfil my wish?

tell me U r not downcast. I just received that sms in the afternoon. I thought everything can b solved between U guys. but why. that's really sad. really sad. I didnt expect that it will b soo fast. but afterall, I hope this is the Best decision from U. and well, of cos I support U all along. dun worry, girl. I'm here. always here. smile.

I'm always a fool. like always.. everybody loves to hurt, disappoint, upset, backstab me. orhh well, I'll let it b..

THE PERFECT LETDOWN FROM U.
I thank you 4 that.

XIAOJUN needsabite :p

2:32:00 AM