Saturday, August 13, 2005
yesterday parade was.. GREAT!! my classmate said they called my name n i din respond. gosh!! so funny, how is it possible that i can hear them?? i'm so far away, some more all instru around me, so in2 my blowing.. hahah!! how can hear them?? but it's like so embarassing.. imagine people shouting at ur name like mad.. hahah!! my classmates r cute!! =p yeahh.. TIC said we r great!! hehe. the mud was horrible!! gotta wash my pants ONCE AGAIN. gosh. wash so many times already. lol.
2day is an off day but went back 2 help out. just gotta wake up early lorr. when my alarm rang, i can't believe that it's 915 already. still feel the sleepyness. haha. reached sch around 1030. was late yet audrey asked me 2 buy things. so went over 2 buy. reached office, they told me actually nothing much 2 help. *diao. but luckily in the end got thing 2 do. key in the ranks!! hopefully i din key in anything wrong. haha. so afraid. was keep checking. hahaha. should b okie lahh.. went 2 the band room. not much people left. some even went down 2 play soccer already. heard nic's playing. still not that gd. not the sound that what a soloist should b. i was sitting right bside him, hoping that i can hear something though. well, wanna tell nic,
we din give up on U, so U cannot give up so easily 2. we push U, not bcos we wanna c U fall, it's bcos we want U 2 b a gd player. do a gd 1. we believe U can. keep trying!! =)
orhh yahh, after locking up, went 4 lunch. went mcdonalds. can't really eat. just got no appetite this few days. dunno what's wrong again. my mum said cos of my cough haven fully recover yet but i keep telling her i'm okie already. just 2 avoid all that medicine that i've been eating 4 the past few weeks n i'm sick of it. U know, i got diarrheoa when every1 was happily resting. got it since wednesday till now. even vomit that day n wasn't feeling gd this few days. it had been years 4 me 2 vomit. hahah. seriously lorr. then can't sleep well. just dunno what's wrong. all bcos of my stomach. always been like this. dun have a gd gastric. bleahh.. haha. then went playing bball with feroz, sathiyaa, audrey, shafiq, natassia, hanliang n suffian. they were gd at it. natassia is very cute. haha. was really tired by then. n my stomach is roaring once again. cannot take it anymore, so sit at the bench around n looking at them playing. hahah!! nearly fall asleep. but with audrey around, i cannot never sleep. NEVER. lol. reached home around 7 plus. or 8?? cannot remember then had my dinner. din eat much. then think of something n sms nic. hope he's not that stress bahh. so worried 4 him. can say i'm worried 4 anything. just gotta make things possible.
feel that sometimes scoldings dun work. need 2 sit down n talk. n everything will turn out fine.
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love n share. =D
10:40:00 PM
Monday, August 08, 2005
when will i recover?? not so soon i guess. or never will?? i wish i can dun care about anything 1 day, take a break from anything. no phone calls. inside my room, blast my music or sleep like no 1 cares. n no 1 wakes me up. like sleeping 1 whole day. that will b great. hahaha. so impossible.
heyy, things seems 2 b getting worst once again. i dun wanna b the 1 who sit there n let it b anymore. i wanna speak n make things slove. but often, the more i speak, she feels that i wasn't helping or supporting her. humans r funny. talking sense is wrong?? agreed with him totally, about the middle finger thing. but why is this so?? i feel so scared. i'm afraid. what will she do next 2 b the 1?? middle finger is irritating.. i mean what so gd about that?? i still feel that every1 should b the same. things must b fair. m i in the diff world?? why is it i'm the always the 1 who thinks this way. end up making my own self troubled. orhh mann, call me a stupid person then. i feel that.. i wanna a change, i'm trying very hard 2 reach 4 it but no 1 is there 2 support me. no 1 is around 2 push me up 2 help me. i want everything 2 b smooth but it's often not like this. sometimes i really dunno what 2 do. caring 2 much is useless. i was thinking, if i din start at all, everything will b so fine. cos without me thinking so much, without me trying so hard, without me..... things will b fine. cos no more troubles. yeahh?? i dunno what i want. cos no 1 seems 2 support n know what i want. haha. 2 bad, that's 2 badd.
wonder if she's still angry or upset or not. wanting 2 ask, but what if i ask, that makes her more fed up?? arghh.. why can't i remember things clearly!!!!!! punish me, 4 being a lousy 1. at least i feel better. =(
why m i being pull 2 find stones 2day?? orhh that audrey stole my ez link card away!! wasn't in the mood 2 fool around seriously. already couldn't sleep 4 a night. but at least i help aurey 2 fulfil her determination. helped her 2 dig out 1 big stone 2day. she was soo happy. her smile is nice. =)
9:21:00 PM
