Sunday, January 29, 2006
well well, here i m blogging. wish every1 reading this entry a
HAPPY CNY!! n smile always, all the best.
i'm soo tired lahh. after weeks of stress, sadness, finally a break 4 me. i felt relief. it's like, FINALLY lorr. was soo depress on fri cos of something happened lahh. was angry, sad, lost. well, it hurts. i feel the pain. felt so dumb 2. but hope that person i'm mentioning smile always n b happy. stop blaming urself, yeahh?? felt sad 2 as soo long of suffering. i still love seeing the smile. till sat, i still cannot erase that moment from my mind. maybe i think 2 much?? my heart tells me that some1 is unhappy down there. i dare not sms. should have some peace then though i wish 2. actually i didn't stop thinking. n i can't. though i ask myself not 2 think about it. even used pillow n stuff myself 2 a corner. well, it doesn't works.
tidied my room just now. woo, finally more space n cleaner. put the 2 piglet on my bed. wow, soo cute. love them soo much. hee. then went over 2 uncle's house 2 have dinner. with my grandparents n my cousins. the dinner is soo, a bit not nice lahh. dunno where they ordered 1. then went over 2 lot1 2 meet wt. she said she miss her hot fudge so i agreed 2 accompany her. she treat me lehh. soo bu hao yi shi. thanks anyway. i wasn't hungry, but ate something. soo FULL!! her prawn ball is closed, beancurd is closed. lol. saw her disappointed face. haiya, pei U again next time round yeahh.
went home after that. haiya, think soo much while walking alone. the bus was soo late. i nearly fall asleep. reached home around 11 plus. bathing just now n i was lucky enough 2 got nose bleeding. lol!! how HENG i can b right.
REDD. then dad put the ang bao on my table. wahh, soo cute. mickey mouse de. lol. soo unique some more. then i kept in my new yr bag. waiting 2 visit my relatives n bring all my new stuffs along. though i know it will b a bored day ahead. but. well, let's wait 4 2nd, 3rd 4th day then. so can meet up my friends n get crazy. hee.
sometimes really soo upset, soo depress. i wanna drank myself n b 4getful.. my bad point is i care 2 much. i bother 2 much. n i'm hurt. cos my stupid character make some1 upset. why is this hurting soo hurting. i wish HER the very best. anyway, i hope marcus all the best. i'm happy 4 him. n wanna let him know, he's not alone. =)
12:26:00 AM
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
woo~ what a sec 4 life i gotta go through. so stress out!! sometimes, i can't even breathe yeahh.. cos of the work i gotta do, the work i gotta revise. gosh, wake me up!! i haven been sleeping early, i haven been sleeping well. gotta care 4 this n that. well, most worried is 4 wt bahh. she had promise me!! hee. i felt relieved after that promise she had made 4 me. was upset when c her that way. but never stop guiding her n support her. i believe in her yeahh. =)
orhh, i just finished some of my chem questions. orhh mann!! it's soo hard!! really spend my hours checking this book or that book. lol. ermm, math?? seems much more simpler under the guidence of ms yeo. TOA CAH SOH. the weakest that i'm stuck with last yr. n now, da la!! i almost finished the whole worksheet, but i din cos i can't figure out. need more practice still. chem arr, wahh.. better listen n pay lots of attention then. gotta collect money 4 chem n chi at the same time. soo many things 2 buy mann.
sec 1s came in 2day. well, only some, believe that ain't all. hee. they are soo cute!! AZIZ!! my junior. i can remember names okie!! dun play play!! LOL!! hope more can join this big family then. =)
gotta sleep le. i'm soo DEAD!! =\
1:54:00 AM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
haii. things had been badd nowadays. i dunno, i dunno lahh. these few days i was seriously tired. sleep early around 12 plus nowadays. yesterday went town 2 buy new yr stuffs. an unique skirt i bought n mickey shoes. hee. soo cutee horr?? with shirt n my 100 bucks' gone. 2day was a tiring day as usual, falling asleep in class but i controlling myself. wahh, so dead. remedial cancelled, went band. 4 the short rehersal they having. soo SHORT!! lol. then everything was FINE in the band room. must check whether i got blue black not. got hit by SOME1 everywhere lahh. lol. soo funny. yeahh yeahh, weiting is feeling better, i'm soo glad. =) she can!! she can!! =D
back home, mum told me she had cancelled my line n it will b cut off in few days time. well, i act as if i dun care. actually i dun. but after that, i gave a 2nd thought, how m i suppose 2 contact her?? i need some personal life lahh. can't b always chatting using my home phone right?? i dunno lahh. so devasted now. dunno. i want 2 contact her like how i used 2 everytime but i can't anymore. i dun even have the money 4 meals, then how m i suppose 2 buy my prepaid. i still need 2 return my debts 1st. haii. i dunno lahh. life is really UNFAIR!! n seriously unfair. what did i do 2 have all these sufferings these few days?? if this gonna continues, i dunno how 2 carry on. HELLO!! i'm paying my own bill lehh, so why can't i have the line?? dunno lahh. soo stupid lahh!! I'M PAYING MY OWN BILL!! let me repeat it again. i dun understand lahh. my bro's bill is pay by my mum lorr. n he uses more than me. i use allowance 2 pay everything. so what's wrong?? i use my mobile 2 contact n ask work n band stuffs. cannot arr?? smsing wrong arr?? whatever lahh!! soo.. haiya.. okie i'm sad. =( =( =( =( =( =(
hope marcus can find back his stuffs soon!! smile marcus!! =)
will certainly miss HER.. haiiya.. =(
12:01:00 AM
Saturday, January 07, 2006
2006 is a new start?? bleahh. WRONG!! it's worst ever. 1st day of sch, got band, mum was screaming like hell, said i go out 2 shop. well, i DUN LIE. n she simply dun trust me anymore. like 2day, what's going on. i dunno. she just hates me. n i hate the way i'm going on. i dun wanna stay at this kinda environment anymore. 4 2day, i got stressful enough, just wanna stay at mac longer cos i can find my freedom there. once i reached home, she started screaming all that. my phone was low batt n she said i purposely off the phone. i hate 2 lie, seriously. cos i know lies often will b discover sooner of later. i simply dun understand why mum dun understand me. n no 1 in the house do. generation gap?? the rod hitted U, how U feel?? sometimes, people say i'm kinda autistic. that's always reasons bhind something. well, i dunno what's going on n had been smsing HER 2 tell HER everything of cos. thanks 4 her care 2. maybe only SHE can understands.
LOVE HER!! =p really feel better after telling her. believe i'm not ALONE. =) got HER n lots more caring 1. thanks guys. yes, i'm stress, i'm under lots of preassure, but i wun fail 2 listen 2 others still. hehe. sound weird yeahh. whatever it is, i simply dun care nowadays. i just do what's right 4 me n carry on. cos people dun understand. they just wanna let me DIE?! well, if that's only the case that they'll smile?! haii. pls, let me b 4getful this time round. bleahh. ='(
1:38:00 AM
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
1st day of sch. ermm. hahaha!! what can i say?? i can feel the STRESSS!! sec 4 already ehh, so fast~
2day's lesson was nothing. but some teachers already started 2 teach. 1st lesson with ms toh. haha!! my gd gd buddy. =x she rebonded her hair. wow~ not much diff though. just feel uneasy that she's speaking eng 2 the class. she's my form teacher, yeahh. =) then, got phy. but madam rita, suppose 2 b my phy teacher never come, she came instead. wahh~ seems like whole class love her soo much!! lol. well, felt that my class never grow ehh. already 16 lehh, then still, haiya!! noisy!! sometimes really headache n sick of it. like 2day lorr. wahh piang. talk softly lahh. haiyo. ermm, so after all the noise with her around, we got mr ho!! hohoho!! miss him mann. he remembers me. =x he's cute still. lol. then after reccess, it's kinda free period. i fall asleep. was really dead tired lahh. even drool!! lol. then madam low came. so i read a book instead. after that it's ms toh's lesson once again. got target setting n crap. haiya!! i really wanna work hard this yr. but can we dun start with holiday assignment?? =x straight 2 lesson lahh!! haiyo~ lol.
2day's band was great. i mean, according 2 mr chew, we r great. but 2 me, our discipline not there already ehh?! people came late like nobody's business. haii. really gotta tighten up everything b4 i leave. YESS!! scoldings as usual. that HL arr, asked him if he done the camp report n handed in, he said yes!! but he din. n still blurr. haiya. then van n me gotta do. i haven finish my poa!!! n mr ho was chasing my blood 4 it 2day. lol!! yes yes, i will finish. i will!! just that i 4get some of those stuffs here n there. mann~ 2moro got chem quiz. what is this mann!! i 4get everything, though it's open book, if U 4get everything, how do U expect 2 find the ans?? kill mee!! i should go revise now.
i'm really dead tired lorr. SLEEPY!! 2moro after sch dunno go where. maybe library?? no money. broke like hell, sorry guys. =
i'm really stress out. after band 2day, went straight home, i'm really like dead meat, my unreasonable mum thought i went out 2 play. c'mon lahh!! 0 buck 4 a week, play what. siao!! thought reaching home can take a break from work. bleahh. now U guys know why sometimes i'm always out?? staying in a "nobody's understands" world. i must well go outside. rather 2 b alone, a quiet place then. mum was seriously screaming just now saying i'm focusing on band not studies. well well, agree that my grade sucks, but will PROVE MY MUM WRONG!! if not mum really gotta c TIC le. haii. arghhHH!!!! =(
10:33:00 PM
