Monday, June 30, 2008
HEY HO! I'm updating my blog, happy not?! =\many things happened in life, recently. I got so so so beat out. but not yet dead. I wonder if I'll soon be dead, or just another breakdown. boohoo. sick eh, so sick. sometimes I wonder, who's real, who's not. reality? or just an illusion. okay, 4get about all these
EMOtional shit ya.so where should I start?
was kinda busy for trainings, if not, UT. trainings were fine. just that there's some reasons that make me a little sick. I'm feeling, ya. sigh. but no doubt, I still have passion for canoe. no matter who's gonna bring me down, no matter how it gonna turn out to be, I will stay on, and survive.
paddle, paddle and paddle harder, I'll leave everything behind. I was trying hard not to capsize though. but I always capsize once. =\ aww. it's only last Sunday, when I didnt capsize at all. I felt great. Saturday was great. I got in2 T1 as well, and I try out those strokes that coach taught. glide, and feel the wind, yes. and oh ya, my tank top tan is super horrible. awww.
I didnt go 2day cos I was didnt have a gd rest since school starts. 7 days of waking up early can kill. aww.
I need some sleep. boohoo.
but I need to paddle too! weee~
UT was horrible. esp Math. grr. I'm so gonna get E for sure. super sad ah. =\
and Enterprise's faci is getting worse. she is ridiculous! and I gave a little attiude. simply bcos..
I AM NOT USING MSN! and she said I am. =\ dun accuse leh. ROAR!
her comment for me was..
"Hi Xiao Jun, you looked unwell today, you didnt contribute much, are you feeling ok? Sometimes you really do a lot of work, and other times, like today, you dont do much at all. I hope that you can persevere everyday, to do your best no matter what. I wanted to ask about your proudest moment, cos I want you to recall what it was like to persevere through something, and to know that you put your best effort into something. If you want to, your grades can be excellent as well. Focus more, spend more time reading resources and understanding them."I dunno what she wants. =\ yes, I'm feeling tired. yes, I was sleeping.
BUT THAT WAS BCOS I'VE FINISHED MY PPT! sigh.
and I got a C! =\
hmm..
U were a little far. I feel that U drift away. so I thought of letting go. but I need time, every1 knows. and suddenly, yes, suddenly.. I am still hanging, cos there isnt an ending. am I being naive? or r U being childish? U said this to me few weeks back, and soon, it fade away few weeks later. then, U hurt me even more. deep. oh fuck. thanks for all these shit. thanks for leaving me alone. thanks for making me come to realization. thanks for.. ya. whatever it is.I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell..met up with Kexian for lunch.. eh, 4gotten when. and we took some pictures together. yup,
the happy moments..
Litong was having her lunch. so Kexian and I took some pictures alone.
yes, I have to praise her for this. this shot appeared to be soooooo nice! woo.
so after Litong's lunch..
lovely, isnt? time flies whenever they're around. oh ya,
this is definitely not the end.. 
our individuals! haah. cool not?! school can be fun, with nice people around. oh well well.. and so! I came out with..
wahaha! sweet huh. :D
so dunno which day again, Litong decided to go swimming. so asked me about it. okay, I agreed with it. swimming! ole! we "chiong" after lesson. just to grab a bit of sunlight. haha. swimming was great! I brought along my cam, which I dunno why. cos.. I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHY, didnt U know? haha. so we took a few shots after swim. super addictive ah! and must must thank Litong for alliance with me. hohoho.
ah! the 2nd pic, is Litong and my favourite. wooo. green grass green!
and our individual shots..
I like Litong being this way. heh. like.. the very happy her, like always! and also, irritating ah! lol.
and here comes my favourite of all..
nice not nice not! say "WOW". heeee. after my edition of cos. guess which one is me?! or am I asking the obvious?! =\\
okay, there's more. but just showing a few of my fav. I was being random! and of cos.. took a few pictures of myself. ahh, U can stop reading now if U dun wanna see more. in case U got so sick of me. grrrr.
THIS! is my favourite. so I edited the contrast.
and this! but without edition. lazy ah!
all these are not even 1/4 of my pictures. lol. but well, a few of my favourite. okay, and my profile pic. "U can FINALLY smile well." said Litong. cos we all agree that, I cant smile, I can only be EMOtional. even me making funny faces look better than my smile. HOW SAD HUH! ROAR!!!!
okay, I supposed there's more to come. and seriously people, give me some happy pills, cos I'm feeling damn shitty.
I know Christina will read this. so well, let's be happy, together.
anyway, thank you Kexian and Litong.
mixture of feelings; down, anger, dead, hurt, shitty. damn it, you and ur lies.
12:22:00 AM
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
sometimes, I'm so tired, so sick of everything, physically and mentally, I'll let it go. I cant be bothered, any longer. maybe you'll be better off this way.
though it still hurts.
10:59:00 AM
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I wonder how, I wonder why, yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky.I hate
life. I hate
problems. I hate
false pretense. I hate
the way U are. stop adding on to my burden.
this and that, this and that. I'm tired, I'm so sick of everything. and slowly, I'll break down, let go, walk away.
stop pretending that U're my friend when U're not. stop pretending that U care for me when U're not.stop pretending that U are so gd at everything, cos U are not.I hate this damn fuck up life. what's wrong with people nowadays? where have those nice people gone to? life is so mess up. I just wanna blurt everything out, yes I have to.
815am, Khatib, LSR, water training. and yet I'm still awake. let me sleep, forever.
I'll paddle, in my dreams.
photographer learns, and improve, photographer dun copy. be creative.
1:07:00 AM
Thursday, June 19, 2008
CHEM IS TRY!
yes! never know my interest for Science last till NOW! I'm so glad that there's finally a absolutely Chemistry qns for my basic Science module. oh well, I MISS CHEM! really. so when faci Chevy started talking about Alkanes, Alkenes, Alkyens etc etc, I got so so excited! but unfortuately, it's Organic Chem, the topic I dislike the most. ahhh. but it was fun! and I enjoyed myself 4 such a Chem day. hehe.
and so, I decided to take out my O level notes again and read it through. hohoho. madness.
faci Chevy then gave us this! 3D version of compound. so it reminds me of Msseah showing this b4 too? I dunno when. I remembered that.. I wasnt really paying attention then. and ignored? cos I dun even understand what all these "sticks" and "fishballs" for. oh well..
and this is how "creative" my class can be! they got a figure of a dog. hehe. cute huh. SO CHEM, SO CHEM!
had water training yesterday. had asked female captain about Kaarik's situation, SO, KAARTIK IS NOW PART OF RPCANOE! hehe. so so happy and proud of him ah. his determination and wanting to learn. :)
I was like.. so pathetic. wearing a tee and FBT shorts. HAHA. cos I got a little lazy to get change. esp when now the reporting time is 445pm and yet my lesson ends around 430pm all the time!
oh anyway, Nat came out with a very horrible hairstyle! so we took a pic with "woo wa" hairstyle. LOL. super random. but well, RP CANOE! lalalala.
RANDOM! haha. just bcos we were all so bored! look at Kaartik! came out with this stupid yet cute idea. heh. and Jon! wearing XiaoYang's specs. irritating + retard = JONATHAN ONG. haha. oh well, every1, let's nod ur head, I know U guys agree with me. hehe.
TODAY, I was having Mathematics & Computing module + UT. MADNESS! super Math luh. ROAR! hate it. I was so so so drained out. I got really balnk out 4 my test. words and more words. nothing I can do. so I was like.. just trying out my luck and pray hard that everything's fine. sigh~
dun ask me about the problem statement for today, I dunno anything about it. whales?! ha. I was trying hard to analyse. so I did some qns from the worksheets. but I admit, I did nothing 4 my team's PPT, which I feel so guilty about. sigh~ I was like.. trying to, but seems like I cant help anything. then I got soooooooo dead beat, I fell asleep on the table. SORRY NATASHA, XIAOYANG and GAOSHUAI! I am I am really sorry about not doing anything, but the worksheet. =\
lesson ended early today. so we took some pic of Litong, cos..
her wind breaker is simple horendous! she was wearing quite nicely today and this wind breaker condemn everything. ROAR. and she just simple loves it so much. HAHA. like.. that "cupboard smell" that she force straight to my face 4 me to smell it during camp? till now.. HAHA. the smell is still there. it seems like a raincoat or whatsoever. she just look retarded, oh like duh!
then we started all our pic again. about our hoodie la. but Litong so cannot make it..
anyway, that was Josh. HAHA. my hoodie is not big enough to cover my eyes. so ya, use hands la! every1's so lazy. LOL.
and this..
then..
wahaha. loving huh! she and her joker face. ah faint. LOL.
and of cos..
KWOK LITONG!
finally back to normal. ROAR. this is so much better right. HAHA.
Tan Weiyan!
she and her smile. WHAT IS THIS FOR! hahaha.
everyone, together. :)
okay, I'm almost half dead here.
-things aint the same. responsibility, determination, initiative. but some people just dun understand. not mentioning names here. I detest the infantile thinking of urs. HAHA, ya it's so funny. I'm not angry, I'm not pissed, I'm not crying, I'm still not giving up. U wanna be one? then show them what U've got. not showing ur damn attitude and thinking that it's so cool about everything. stop ur nonsense, b4 everything get a little bad. oh well, disgusted, yes by U. EAT UR FOOD and maybe U can shut ur mouth up.
-I'm getting a little tired. I'm sick of it. stop ur randomness. what's all these? sweet, yes it used to be. bitter, yes now it is. I thought everything's gonna be so fine. U and ur excuse? I dunno. everything just fade away, at the very next sec, while the day b4, everything seems so fine. how we used to be, no longer there. I thought I can go on, but U always appear, to make me confused. it's contradicting. this is not the way to go. U make me fall so deep, now U're drifting away. thanks for this. thanks for the hurt. thanks for allowing me to experience this once again. oh well, maybe I dun think I wanna know, I gotta go, b4 I go crazy.
`I'm going to..
11:22:00 PM
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
NO MORE COMPLAINTS PEOPLE!like.. finally I'm updating?
*blow all the dust away. LONG WAY TO GO!
- W24B clique chalet
- Canoe camp
- Out with friends
and stuffs like that..
chalet!
I was so beat out. went straight to Pasir Ris after water training. maybe or so, an hour of MRT trip was killing me. my butt seemed to be burning hot. oh well, every chalet, I just gotta suffer with this. oh Jurong, oh Jurong. HAHA.
it was overall quite fun, bcos of those people around! we drank, we played, we crazed, we jumped, we yelled, just to have fun! Nat's birthday was near, so we decided to give her a surprise. DAH LA! the cake was so so nice. even "anti cake" Nat likes it. haha.
SORRY GUYS! I was like.. sleeping around 4am the day b4 chalet, then training in the morning, then chalet. so basically, I dropped dead 4 the 1st day of chalet. HAHA. it's better than getting drunk, like some people, and the rest of us had a great laugh. LOL.
I was mentioning about the haircut?
yes, this was b4 the haircut. HAHA. do U people miss my hair? oh well. no more! no more!
Litong got her bob, and I got my bang. ;D
met up with a few of my classmates last.. Tuesday I think. we went town and caught a move, Kungfu Panda. HAHA. thanks to all these kids, I gotta watch this. aint so bad as I thought! it was quite entertaining and stuffs. HAHA. then we had our meal..
I had my dunno what Papaya soup beehoon and I swear that the soup is so so so so yummy! ask Yuan or Tong. HAHA. then we ordered the Mango dessert and shared among ourselves. wooo. huge huh! hehee. look at our expression! hahaha. stupid Litong, was just trying to be pretty in front of cam. hahaha.
we then had some random shot as and when we like. HAHA.
this photograph was by Litong, and then I edited it. it was really random la! but appeared to be nice! hehehe.
and this is Yuan! hahaa. pretty pretty Yuan huh! :)
coming up next..
Canoe Camp! I was like.. a bit stressed up at 1st. like.. must be some hardcore training camp. and I'm so afraid that I cant catch up with my team mates! but..
IT WAS FINE! hehe. and I'm so glad I did my VERY best. and I think I can be better as time goes by, every1 of us can be. :)
1st day..report at 4pm. we were being split into our groups.
I'M NOT WITH LITONG! I was like.. fine with others too. but after "Blow Wind Blow", my group was.. WA. I'm like.. a bit sad already and like.. cant be high anymore! really dead! and I just dunno what to do. we have tooooo many quiet ones in my team. oh well, it's called FOXIESSS anyway. cos my mentors, Sihong and Adeline gave us Fox sweets. HAHA. nice nice mentors! I'm so glad I got them 2, if not,
DIE LA. 2nd day..it was a hard day. water training in the morning. oh well, I didnt managed to fall asleep the previous night. slept around 3 plus and woke up around 5am. AHHH. training was extra tough, bcos og sleepless night.
BAD ENOUGH, some1 dropped the boat and got 200 push ups! yes, the seniors were all so pissed. well, if I'm the seniors, I will also be la. so we, juniors just endure. we were all down of cos. =((((
after all these, we ran to Woodlands Sports Complex. and the seniors told us that we are going to run to Kallang. we were all like..
"WHAT THE!" but.. hmm. maybe bcos of my previous experience, I know they were kidding. just like how I always exaggerate in front of my juniors. HAHA. sharks man. but of cos, we all ran as a team and reached Woodlands Sports Complex. woooo. the feeling was great! then we had some games. IRRITATING AH! those stupid moves. HAHA. and makes every1 of us to have aches around out thighs. ahhhhhh! worse man. and ran back to school after that.
POLICE AND THEIF was the fun night for us. quite fun la! but I got caught by Bob[ex captain]. damn dumb la. I was like "chiong-ing", didnt notice him! hahahaa.
3rd day..so so beat out! so I managed to have gd gd sleep! woke up, feeling sleeping la. lol. and had water training as usual. with coach this time round. I cant remember his name, but I know it's LKY. haha. he's cool. and nice. fierce in a way, but good ah!
TRAIN HARD!!! woooo.
back to touch up cheer. presentation of cheer then DA LA! break camp! every1 was like wooooooo~ really! toooo drained out.
let's do it, Kelroy. :)
Tong and I then went to Causeway Point 4 PastaMania, oh well. her all time fav.! I had soup and garlic bread. and was so so full! we were discussing about stuffs, and updating each other since we were like.. not the same group and it's difficult to communicate. HAHA. so much to say! and laughter. HEHE.
had my brows trimmed yesterday. woke up around 3 plus. then slack at home. whole body was aching! really. and thanks huh! look at my bed! having stairs leh! my thighssssss. ROARRRR! went HollandV alone then met up with Tong randomly. HAHA. she's such a irritating budd of mine. LOL.
we were supposed to have Starbucks, but she said she dun feel like! so we were like loitering around here and there and took some pics. HAHA.
and DORA! is her new given name! what a big misunderstanding! hahaha. but she started to get used to it, love it and not whine at it. HAHA! it's cute, U see.
but I love Bob the Builder more! haha.
got home! then was like.. using the comp and stuffs. of cos. PICTURES! here are a few that I love..
there were MORE, of cos. HAHA.
2day was the new start of school! every1 was so dead. ROARRR! damn sick la. slept around 5am bcos of Fi. and ya, during lesson, Josh was soooooooooooo annoying!
LOOK AT THIS! I dunno what he did, he had the same nick, same DP as me! soooo annoying. I felt like an idiot talking to myself actually! hahaha.
after lesson, went Causeway to have a meal b4 home..
then, HOME SWEET HOME! yes, I was soo sleepy, but I wanna finished all these. and I'm so lazy to read through for my UT. oh well well.
and b4 I end this entry..
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO NATASHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! my classmate, my team mate, my friend! :)
I can never be your priority. or maybe I'm nothing to you. so, tell me that you love me.
12:15:00 AM
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
alright, I'm being called
BANGER is simply bcos..
I got a bang! hehehe. I'm way back into my bang again. and yes,
I AM IRRITATING! hohohoho. and I realised, even though I'm best in EMOtional pic, with this bang, I just cant be EMOtional huh? LOL.
Ginger came talking to me about some part-time job, quite interesting luh.
AND I MISS HER SO MUCH! she said we can meet up soon 4 XO fish bee hoon. wooo. nice nice leh! and so, since she loves my edition so much, I volunteered to..
help her with it! she was so glad. and said
,"I'm going off! edit more and send to my e-mail!" wawawa. hahaha.
and was like.. chatting on phone, then MSN with Ginger, Kexian and Litong. but slowly, all offline and left Tong. and now Christina came talking to me.. but also, I helped Litong with..
THIS! haha. hope they like it la. thanks 4 trusting..
XIAOJUN'S PRODUCTION(:
I MISSED CANOE PHYSICAL TRAINING TODAY! and I'm so so so guilty. and the reason was.. I set my alarm 730PM rather than AM! what is this man!!!! roar! I'm so gonna train myself till I dislocate! lalalala. Canoe camp is round the corner, and I'm feeling a little stress out. sigh. hope everything turn out to be good.
and friends, sorry but meet up soon k! sorry 4 the packed schedule I'm having. sorrrrrrrry!
I MISS YOU SO.. so..
5:05:00 AM
