I found this mv at 1 of my friend's friendster account. guess she really loves this song. and bcos it's sang by her favourite singer, Sammi Cheng. anyway, I find this mv super sad. and makes me wonder, what is Love. b4 loving somebody, have U ever ask urself, do U really know Love? eh, it's kind of M18 leh.
and maybe bcos of the tv show I watched earlier on. they love each other, but they ain't 2gether, just bcos they dun wanna hurt a 3rd party. worth it or not? 3 of them ended up hurting each other. it's complicated, U see.
STOP! mentioning him, pls. it's OVER and DONE. we were never 2gether.
memories, full of you.
3:07:00 AM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
emotional? yes I am. pretending is tough, crying out loud is tougher. I'm strong! well, maybe I'm not. yes, I'm not. maybe I'm trying, trying too hard.
HAPPYBIRTHDAY,MUM.
4:28:00 PM
Monday, November 26, 2007
yes, true. very. maybe I was hidding all along. I drink to avoid everything. I thought I can take it but it was just temporary. true enough, whatever she said was not wrong, drinking is just running away. different people choose different way 2 face their problems, yet I choose drinking. sorry, really sorry. it's so true that I dunno how should I react. smile? nod? stop replying? eh. I beat around the bush. sigh. it's making me think more,more and more. "it's complex." I said.
I'm tired. but I cant sleep. sleepless nights kill. and I hate it. sometimes, I wish that I sleep and never wake up. so I can dream as long as I want to. not knowing what happened in reality. a feeling of hate that I love you. sigh. I DUNNO.
chalet 2moro, and I got nothing done! bag not packed. buy nothing. my dear dear sweets, and whatever all not purchase yet. let change my motto from "drink, drank and dun get drunk" to "drink drank and faster get drunk"? just wish 2 tell you.. yes, I miss you.
ANYWAY, drop that. check out these MVs.
nice MV, nice song. many many more. but I cant remember. I'm like watching Channel20 [if U subscribe SCV], it's like.. toooo many Rihanna! so boring luh! but MTV is very kind 2 me. they played "your guardian angel" and "over you" at 1 go! both my favourite. wooo. at least made my night not that dead la! now they're playing.. "rule the world" by take that. feel like watching "light up the sky" by yellowcard now. or maybe "young folks".
there's a few nice songs nowadays. like "tattoo", "give till there's nothing left", "my heart don't lies", "pictures of you" etc.
ooo. maybe I should do my packing now and stop watching MVs. boooo. sigh sigh sigh. STOP BEINGSOOOO DOWN, XIAOJUN! bllleeeaaaahhhhhhh.
becos I hope you're fine..
4:00:00 AM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
but if ever 1 day you ask, I'll say, "yes, it's you, I love."
WA LAU! I'm angry, angry, angry! 1. Shirley back out last minute! hahahaha. she knows I wont b angry. but I'm just teasing her. 2. everbody's having new mobile phone! 3. the home that I dun belong. whatever.
oh pls, I'M SINGLE! and when will somebody believe me that I'm not with him, him, neither am I with him?! *faint.
"sick never mind, get well soon and U should play hard now!" "eh. no leh, I sleep hard."
he brought me up, and push me down. what else. just another passerby. we ain't even friends.
PS. sorry everybody. my camera's plug is with my 3rd brother and he'll be staying in his camp about a week or so. also, he's super irresponsible and careless. so I cant upload those pictures in2 the comp right away and it might took a while. so sorry. will kill my bro once I see him. WARNING.know what, ladies, dun go out with a guy if U're single, cos U'll often mistaken that U're attached! =\\ super unfair luh. okay fine, I know nobody wants me! haha. that's what my guy friends will say.. boo!
take a break, cry loud loud and I'll be there.
6:55:00 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
忘
我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
那些和日记一起收藏的过往
孤单在思绪之中变得很漫长
想
我没有很刻意让自己不去想
那些和照片静止的模样
我学着坚强
坚强到不用学着不想
学着遗忘
还是害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经是失去
就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信
走下去
13th &15th November; HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
my life is ridiculously complex. I feel sooo small whenever I see you. talking 2 you seems hard. there is so much I wish to say. but I never have a chance to. even there is.. I seems to lost in words. just a hello, and walk away. tired? very.
UPCOMING ENTRY: 15th Nov Graduation Tea.
anyway, thanks for the tags. U know who U are.
contact me through phone, peeps. I wont b surfing the net so frequently. U shalt b entertain by me through phone then. =))
2:08:00 PM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
I am a bit busy nowadays. cos I'll be working, shopping, slacking, and having my personal life. BUT also, with friends! =)) I went 4 interview 2day. where.. it's still a secret. hee.
anyway, I AM SINGLE! why is everybody thinking that I'm having a bf. =\\
dear friends, let's meet up soon!
I'm drained now..
anyway, thanks Victor, Markcus 4 the day. Lex Gan, Lek Gan 4 passing me stuffs etc. whoever that drop by and help me. HEE. thanks guys!
10:40:00 PM
Friday, November 09, 2007
before U ask..yes, I rebond my hair. so it will b like the dunno how many million times I'm rebond-ing my hair. and it's bcos I cant stand it. so does my mum,"HAIYO! rebond la! cannot stand ur messy hair. nono, REBOND!" my mum's letting me 2 highlight my hair? strange enough huh.
went Vivo and town yesterday with Derrick. had been with him these few days. like wondering around at nightsssss. really! like.. nowhere 2 go, taking cab to-and-fro. anyway, Derrick is a good drinker. dun despise him, alright. lol. yet I'm not. LOL.
he got a lot of nice clothes already! thanks 2 me! and also the change in him. happy 4 him. =))) he's like super excited 2 get many many clothes and bcome a charming hunk! lol. River Island. Revoltage. Topshop. Zara. Pull and Bear. Mango. and many many nice nice shops. and bcos of these few days of heels, I'M NOT WEARING HEELS TILL GRAD TEA! if not my blister's not going 2 heel. it's like bleeding and bleeding. awww. super pain! =((
"after O level, where U wanna go?" "poly." "poly? why dun go JC!" "dun want dun want." "haiyo! being able 2 study is a bless!" "ya, okay." "U know, kids nowadays wanna do whatever they want 2, not like how we used 2 b already la!" that's your thinking. U haven ask about mine! why didnt U ask me what I want 2 do and what's my plan 4 my future? why didnt U see the stress I'm facing? Poly not studying meh?
"what's inside the box?" "worksheets lor. after Os, I'll clear it." "huh! what if U retain and need 2 retake?" "fine, then I keep it lor. why not say I just dun study now? then straight away sign up 4 next yr Os la." "cannot! sign up already must study. next yr I help U sign up again. er. nono. if U retain, go work la! dun study and waste money okay!" "ya, whatever. I need 2 study." and if I retain, I'll walk out of the house, and never wish 2 see any1 again.
"I'll feel emotional and rather down. doing things that I usually dun if I drink. oh! and I'll swell. I dunno why. makes me look like a pig. gosh."
"haha. really. wei wei. dun emo leh. I'm like so high!"
"haha. ya. okay."
"wei! U emotional already! can see lor. and U swell like a pig!"
"really really? I swell? where. gosh!"
"haha. a bit only ar! dun sooo paranoid! hee. wei, U really okay?"
"okay, yup."
"U're really emotional already."
"huh. nonono."
"yes, can see.."
imissyou.
2:28:00 PM
Monday, November 05, 2007
I AM HAVING A BAD DIARRHOEA! I'm like.. super dead. I thought I am fine. had diarrhoea since saturday. and I thought I'm fine, I had Starbucks. study study study. and felt uncomfortable. then sunday, then 2day. argh. I'm super dead.
UNLUCKY OR LUCKY? it's sooooooooooooo unlucky I guess. I went HollandV's Starbucks 2 study alone. so I was like sms-ing a few people while throwing some SS points in2 my head. my phone's batt was quite full. and I dunno why it went flat soon around evening. by then, I was supposed 2 meet Derrick. SUDDENLY, MY PHONE OFF IT AUTOMATICALLY! I was like.. "sharks". 1stly, I cant remember any of my friends' no. except 2, which doesnt seems 2 b very close with Derrick. I tried 2 on my phone again and it's on! just then, Derrick called. so I was like.. very happy? "Derrick! my phone's batt is totally flat! I.." okay, it's off again! then cannot b on again. so I'm like afraid Derrick came all the way 2 Starbucks 2 look 4 me. I stayed 4 a while, and got hungry. lol. so went off. on my way, my stomach's aching like mad! I was like.. hopeless, really. I was very glad, I found pay phone. I was pale and perspiring like rain. and I started calling 1 of the no. I remembered. but no 1 answer. that made me more anxious. so I started walking, thinking of going home 1st, then call Derrick up. I was panting like a dog then. and really feel so much like fainting already. THEN THEN THEN, DERRICK APPEARED IN FRONT OF ME! hahahaha. I was like.. super high. "DDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKKKKK!" I shouted. seemed like.. HOPE? yes. at least I can start nagging and complaining 2 him, how much pain I suffered. but b4 that, he already start nagging at me already. =\\\ so I suffered more! hahaha. so is this LUCKY? or UNLUCKY? I wondered.
and and and! I saw 2 31st NCO Band Majors! what is this mannnnnnn. Edwin, ex Victoria, Euphoniumist and Michelle, ex St Mag., Trombonist. should b St. Mag. wah lau! I was like.. cannot believe it. but anyway.. I miss those days with them! so coincidentally, they are both my favourite mates in NCO that year. =))
okay. I cant stand my stomach and I'm so going 2 sleep. cos I cant fall asleep yesterday and it's killing me now. gosh. anyway..
THANK YOU SEAN! this is a MUST SEE video. esp Mrs Sng and Mrs Slivi's nice pose. Ms Yeo's wonderful natural reaction. Sleeping Beauties and memories. =)) cheers!
3 more papers, and say BYEBYE TO SWISS COTTAGE!
I bet you know? =))
11:36:00 AM
Saturday, November 03, 2007
I wonder if it would turn out 2 b fine, if they come along. I wonder if the whole atmosphere will turn cold. I wonder how awkward I'll be. it's not bcos I trust U so much, it's bcos I dun really trust them. it's not bcos I dun trust U, it's bcos they're different, just different.
if they know about the life of mine, things would be different.
the msg is sent, with regret. like "WHAT?! shouldnt even send that." but it sent. it seems 2 b okay, but that wasnt my intention all along. I didnt intend 2. but since U want it. I dun mind, but I dun feel right.
NYDC dun seem so nice anymore. the baked spag, which I ordered, wasnt warm at all! yes yes, it's warm on the surface. LOL. it used 2 b my favourite! haiyeh. so disappointed. Coffee Club was GREAT! really. esp the outdoor seat, which I always love. heehehehe. with tea and fondue. weird combination! haahaha. and the jokes and craps, the fiction in life. everything. and I conclude, I dun like my life. even though there will b people having life worse than me. so sorry, I just dun like it.
I realised.. life seems 2 b darkness all the time. with mission that cannot b fulfil. love dun exist. complicated, is the word.
home about 11 plus, which is quite early already. went walking around at JE. many many funny things happened, that we cant stop laughing. HAHA. so silly lahh!
"just dun feel comfortable. okay. U imitate ****, saying all that stuffs." a ah pek turned around and stared at us. OMGOSH!
U want car, U want club, U want wine, U want friends who enjoy night life. I want car, I want pub, I want drink, I want friends who can b trusted. we wanna leave 2 another height in life, we want people who understand.
I wasnt very confident in my Olevel. I'm afraid. I'm starting 2 afraid 2 receive my results now. after hearing what everybody says.. "all papers so easy! wahh lau." "I'm so gonna get a A2 4 my Science, A1 4 POA." "wahh! so easy lehh! confirm A already." and I dun think I'll have any distinction in my cert.
tell me why.. do I dream of you every night?
11:39:00 AM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
DERRICK LIAULEE CHUENIS EXTREMELYANNOYING! yes yes yes! scoring a 59/65 4 Chem theory paper, VERY BIG MEHH! lol. and balancing all the amounts 4 POA big deal arr! aww! he's annoying also bcos.. he board the bus later than me, but reached home earlier than me! how could that be??!!! and I was irritated, bcos.. HE WAS GAMING AWAY B4 THE CHEM PAPER WHILE I WAS SOOOO STRESSED OUT! he dun have Math paper, he dropped D&T! aint he annoying? and now I know why he always ask me out 2 study, just bcos he wanna study sub that I'm taking, yet I'm studying sub that he's not taking! orhh my, how could U! no wonder we meet up and hardly studying 4 the whole day, probably only half a day. and went around slacking. and chit chat till 3 plus in the morning like ah pek at the kopitiam. awwww. okay, I'm ridiculous. hahaha. but he's really irritating. he's irritating me in MSN now! &%#$%@#$
okay, I didnt managed 2 balance 4 my POA 2day. I left no question undone 4 my Math on Tuesday. I studied till 2 plus in the morning and didnt managed 2 fall asleep yesterday. I wrote about "Heroes" 4 my English paper1 and 4got the format 4 my letter writing. I left 15 min 4 my English paper2 b4 the paper ends. I'm now high, high, HIGH!cos I got irritated by Derrick. =\\\
"score full marks 4 Chemistry paper 1, then U'll pass." wei, what logic is this?! hahahaha must score full marks 4 Chem and Phy mahh. also also, POA paper 1!!! POA, I'm not giving up.
very nice song, decicate 2 Lee ChuEn, I mean Derrick..
cos this song is irritating as well! just like him.HAHA. but nice!! =DDD
okay, I'd spelt his name wrongly, twice. sorry lee chuEn. hahahaha. I find no reason to slacken down, with all the supports from you guys, and you. so I'm working so damn hard. and I WANNA SLEEP. =\\\\
yes, I rebond my hair.
went Vivo and town yesterday with Derrick. had been with him these few days. like wondering around at nightsssss. really! like.. nowhere 2 go, taking cab to-and-fro.