Wednesday, August 16, 2006
i hope i'm
DEAD.
MY APOLOGY.i'm dumb. i know. it all happened bcos of my dumbness. nobody is at fault, it's all bcos of XIAOJUN. fair enough?! U shouted n yelled like nobody's business. i was just explaining. U didnt bother 2 listen. fine. so i tried 2 clear everything up, U kept on nagging n scolding it's as if i'm soo wrong. so i told U off. m i wrong once again?! having my own rights doesnt mean i'm yelling. i swear i wasnt yelling. i was talking. U r the 1 who shouted. dun bs alright. U wanted me 2 clear everything. fine, i cleared. yet U said i wasnt doing a proper job. i was holding on 2 a WET cloth n DRY tissue. do U have some common sense?! after U wipe with WET cloth U have 2 use DRY tissue 2 dry it since we dun have a DRY cloth. so old still dunno this logic arr?! need this xiao mei mei teach U?! okie. so U said i'm at fault. 2 cause all these. so i AGREE with U. i said it's 2 bad i born 2 b dumb. isnt it 2 late now?! shouldnt have give birth 2 me in the 1st place then. U were 8 when i was born. why didnt U stop mum from giving birth on me then?! since i was like.. wasting resources all along?! maybe i wasnt here, every1 will b happier. n i mean EVERY1. i'm not some1 who U can make use of. i want U 2 know HOW I FEEL. so i agree with U. all my fault, i was dumb. n U started saying i talked back 2 U. okie okie. U aint the 1st 1 who always blame me 4 this n that without a valid reason. i said I WANNA WIPE EVERYTHING UP MYSELF. yet U insist of snatching the cloth from me. i'm responsible enough. i did it, i clear it. i dun need U. so i got a scolding from U again cos of this. U R OLD ENOUGH 2 THINK RIGHT?! or TOOOOOO old?! i locked up my door, i listened 2 music, U aint happy with it again. whether i cried or not, i dun need U 2 pity me. what i need 2 some space 2 breathe. do U n the rest of U understand me?? or just treating me as a kid still?? seriously, i shouldnt have come 2 this world 2 cause all these trouble right. then 5 of U can live happily what. whether i'm at home or not, doesnt matter. like what i say, i'm just wasting resources n the money of U guys. if i can, i will.. i will leave.. 2 places where no 1 knows me n start anew. cos i dun wanna continue this ALL THE TIME. i can survive alone. n sorry 4 being that dumb.
guess i know the reason why i hate 2 c people down n refuse 2 confide in people.
cos i dun wanan c them down.
i cant find my happiness.
i dun want the rest of the world 2 suffer with me..
i dun wanna c people around me 2 suffer like me..
that's the reason why i hate 2 show the worst side of me.
maybe i wasnt that strong after all.
maybe i wasnt strong at the very beginning.
i cried not bcos i was guilty.
i cried bcos i wasnt at fault.
i wanna prove U guys wrong yet no 1 seems 2 b listening.
no 1 seems 2 bother.
i wasnt born 2 b an
Autistic Child.
i was
TRAIN 2 b 1..
i wanna run just as fast as i canto the middle of nowhereto the middle of myFRUSTRATED FEARS/ TEARS..i wanna come home.. let me go home.
12:15:00 AM
