Sunday, June 25, 2006
Friends.-stupid. it's not as if i've done anything wrong. what did i lie in the 1st place. the way U sms totally shows me what a person U r. since what U want is only FACE. then fine. he laughed at U, so U got soo pissed off with me. is it my problem?! why can't i have the rights 2 choose who i wanna go out with. n didn't i say i'll meet U?! it's just that it's late that's why i didn't. n i did sms U n apologise. n that's my fault again?! so why didn't U reply my msg after that?! guilty?! or simply care no less. tell U the truth, i care no less alright. cos i dun find myself wrong. just that i didn't meet U, my fault. fine with that. there's no need a explaination from me 2 U. n U simply think U r soo right, go ahead. i can't b fagged, n i dun want 2. it's not bcos i dun wanna this friendship. it's cos what U done really made me so fed up.Love.-making love out of nothing at all. that's what i think. haii. okie, i've learn 2 let go. process is damn painful. i dunno why. guess those who r trying hard 2 let go, or have let go will know. the process will never b a pleasant 1. n it seriously hurts U deeply. well, but no choice. after a few months, U must learn 2 face the fact n slowly let it go. thinking of the past. i felt that is it all my illusion?? n i'm just being naive. it seems like.. it just vanish in the air in few sec. or whatever the past is, r simply lies. i dunno of cos. n hard 2 find out why. hard 2 know an ans. from love, to hatred, to love, to hatred, to love. that's my process. funny ehh. but, yahh. this love, 1stly, it's sweet. n U find it's sooo close. U really wish 2 hold on. but of cos, at that point of time, U choose 2 hide ur feelings. thought it will b vanish in2 air sooner or later. so, it's wrong so wrong. end up, U realise U ain't very close anymore. cos it seems like every1 get the same treatment. U realise maybe U r only that period of time, maybe some1 is lonely, so making use of U, U start 2 hate some1. the hate is, with Hurt. after that, U realise it's soo dumb. maybe U should face ur feelings. face the fact. n U hope some1 will b ur very close friend of urs. U face it, n wanna cherish the friendship, but U never expected, some1 may avoid the situation. n U r being punk or something?! or blurr out by everything cos some1 never tell U what some1 feels. just by those few words. that hurt so much again. the pain, is back. U found out U urself, being naive. being a fool. U cherish some1 yet the some1 may just treat U as a doll. Old?! Dirty?! Sick of It?! throw it away. a person that U cherish so much, used 2 love so much. n that's the end?! gosh. it seems like pouring, n never stops. U detest some1. U wanna cry. n ask WHY. but will any1 give U an ans?! NO. after a few days. U face the fact again. being this way, U suffer so much. is it worth it?! turn it all around. treat is as nothing. face it. dun care the whatever misunderstanding U used 2 have with some1 or what-so-ever. U wanna learn from the whole process. n since U know 1 day some1 will never b there. then U should cherish the moments from this moment. U dun wanna urself 2 regret. n start asking urself. why didn't U cherish. U dun want this 2 happen. n of cos. what happened in the past, dun really matter 2 any1, anymore. of cos, i'm the 1 who hurt the most. but.. do i have a choice?! when feelings comes, U won't b able 2 resist it. so when U love somebody, dun deny U dun. face it. n soon everything will b fine. i seriously hope this Love won't change 2 Hatred again.
cos i really dun wish this cycle continues. n whatever the some1 is thinking, laughing at me, thinking i'm foolish, an idiot. 4get it. i choose 2 cherish you.
Family.-alright. 2moro's having buffet already. so i'm the camera man once again. gonan b soo siann lahh. n my mum is asking me 2 sing on stage. gosh!! relatives around lehh. i'm gonna blush like anything. some1 help me!!
School.-i'm somehow afraid. but somehow excited. i'm always like that!! cos diff feelings. =\ i'm afraid 2 face everything. Ns is soo near. i'm soo scared. i can never b calm 4 exam n now it's Ns!! what if i failed?! haii. n i dun wanna face.. yahh. a lot. then excited cos i can c those familiar faces again!! but i hate wed timetable. 5 periods of POA. dozy as anything!! n glad my Teachers didn't change much. =) love my teachers!! gees. =p
and i've started packing my sch stuffs. drawing on my notebook just now. haha!! stupid rainbow, crashed soo many papers. n my woodstock. haha. everything's soo cute. but i dun think it's nice!! it's still incomplete. and 4 those who love 2 vandalise in my book, U'll welcome. it must b an art!! lol. packed my file half way through. not using clear file no more. =) preparing 4 my mon timetable. orhh yahh!! b4 i 4get.
MONDAY - SS SS MT MT MT RECCESS CHEM CHEM SCI PHY PHY ENG.that's monday schedule 4
4N1 ONLY. haha. yupp. but if U wanna know, i can send U. i hope mon sci will b chem. cos i simply miss chem!! i dun wanan have phy. i hate it. =\ n 1st period is ss. i sure fall asleep. hahaha. i hope i dun of cos. I MISS CHEM!! need a revision b4 sch starts. =x
Band.-heard a lot!! from wt, cck and derry. my section is horrible i know. no more teamwork. SL can't b bothered. juniors don't care. i dunno lahh. what can i do. yahh, i should apologise 2 my sect. cos i promise 2 have a sect. talk on 1 fri. but i didn't. sorry sorry. but on top of that, i think my SL should apologise 2 me!!! why didn't take gd care of the sect.?! haii. pls dun embittered me anymore. majors also weird weird 1. council not confirm. 4 soo long. what's going on?! not united?! or what. guess i know the main reason. but i dun wish 2 say. yupp. hope they r fine then. i still love swiss winds!! i love my majors. everything. not 4getting my cutest/notorious section.
and why can't we have the informal photo?! i'm soo pissed. it's soo unfair. it's my last yr some more. why didn't order?! i dun understand. there's sure something behind it. ms seah don't look nice in that photo?! =x i'm just kidding. but i relaly wanna have a look!! cos shir n i show our rank proudly 2wards the camera!! n i nearly type CHEMara. hahaha. arghh. I WANNA INFORMAL PHOTO!! n i wanna c all the photos asap. cos wt said i look kidding in the sec 4 pic. knock her head arr!! i sec 4 okie!! boo!! ;-)
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