Sunday, June 18, 2006
2day was my sleeping day. woke up at 3 plus!! m i POWER. haha. n slept around 5 pkus n woke up at 8 plus again.
PIG.the boy is funny. can't deny that he's not a boy alright. with him, i felt that he's alright. things he do r really scary. making the lift 2 get stuck, if it stuck between the 2 storey, he can jump down from it. making the lift 2 get blackout. running across the busy traffic. that's a lot. i shan't say here. what i say r the very basic 1s. when without seeing him in person, by smsing, he's really a kid. asking me 2 do uncomfortable things. n rather stupid. telling him or not, he wun understand. but i do understand that he's undergoing puberty?! hmmm, not really. i mean.. he's just like a innocent who curious about everything. when talking 2 him on phone, he's another person again. kinda mature, just another best buddy of mine. n i know he's somehow my world. but i can't stand him asking me 2 talk on the phone the whole night 2 early morning n ask me out 2 have a jog or breakfast. can't stand it mann. n saying i'm old, cos i cannot dun sleep. what's wrong with that arr. lol. sleeping is important!! i can dun sleep. but i cannot dun sleep!! what m i saying. haha. i mean.. yahh, that's it. he contact me 2day. i understand that he's bored n people around his age ain't his world. just like me bahh. but.. he's younger than me afterall. U know, i normally dun join those who r younger than me. but.. i dunno. he started smsing n calling me. i replied a few of his smses n didn't pick up his call. i dun want 2. i'm afraid he'll start asking me out 2 kills his boredeem again. he can't understand me i guess. i'm not used 2 crowd. yupp. he asked me out around 1am just now. 2 play pool n drink if i'm not wrong. rejected. cos like what i say. i'm still xiaojun n i dun need any1 2 change my lifestyle. n i dun want. i'm the 'anything' kind. but not overboard. at times i feel that friends somehow change me?! orhh well.. that's the strange boy i met. ha. but a cute boy after all. cos he's my friend, of cos cute lahh!! ;-)
love is not inside me no more. cos.. i learn 2 let go. n you're just like my friend. the closest 1. =) well, life is always like that. U can't fight with it. what urs, will b given 2 U, what's not urs will never b urs then. though at times decisions r hard 2 make, things r hard 2 let go. but when U feel that U'll so stuck, U dunno what 2 do, U can't let things go, it's bcos U DUN WANT 2. it NOT U CAN'T. it's like that. though U might feel that i'm crapping but U'll realise after U're awake from this illusion in urself. it's only U that can make anything happen. dun ask me how i let go. this can never b taught. this is by how U think n realise. dun say U can't. when a person U love can't b urs. or dun even know U're soo attracted, then.. U can choose 2 tell the 1 U love how much ur love is or keep quiet n let it b. though i choose the 2nd way, but.. moset importantly i got no regrets. i know there's a lot inside me. me myself went through all these. i started 2 feel that U ain't the 1 anymore. not that i'm in love with some1 else. cos i know the impossible in you n me. waiting 4 myself 2 get ready what i wanna say. what i actually wanna tell U. nothing wrong 2 let U know. U ought 2 know. n i shan't lie.
that's it mann. a new hair cut, a new life, a new me?! no lahh. i'm still the xiaojun U guys know. ;-)
wahh, i missyou!! wish 2 have a talk with you. tell you everything in 1 shot. guess we'll have a great time chatting n you have a great laugh how foolish i m 2 love you?! haha.
3:51:00 AM
