Thursday, April 27, 2006
the time now is 912pm n i know i ought 2 b studying.
but let me tell U what. i dunno how 2 start studying ss. it's like, every1 was saying it's a need 2 memorise. but i thought understand can le?! if understanding, i'm okie with it. cos it's kinda logical. but talking about memorise, i'm soo dead. i sure cannot remember 1. n it's soo many topics, it's as if i got such a BIG BRAIN 2 memorise everything?! ermm.. really dunno how 2 start studying this ss.. arghh. hate it. but i shall make it fast, then start "memorising."
woke up not long ago. n had noodles. yucks, it's not tasty at all. then noodles is soo soft, dun even have 2 bite. =\ now having a little pain around my stomach, dunno why. the most scary thing was that i had diarrheoa this morning. it's like.. i really shit a lot. then thought i wun b able 2 make it 4 exams. wahh, was having cold sweat lorr. but i rushed. though was a bit late, but still alright bahh, i guess.
2day papers r.. i dunno. I JUST CAN'T CONCENTRATE. i dunno why. eng still okie. it's like wasting so many papers. as i kept wondering if i wrote the right format 4 my report. n 4 the essay, everything seems 2 b so hard 2 write. dun have those like.. personal recount. end up i wrote about childhood. guess i might write out of point. but i really tried my best. haii. =\ chi was worst. letter writing was.. alright. then 4 my essay, i wrote the 1st topic, about a day when U saw ur friends whom U had lost contact with, then what U guys do n how U feel. but end up i wrote crap. i wrote how i got at the resturant 2 eat n stuffs like that 4 intro. soo.. irrelavant. then i crashed the paper. i changed 2 writing a story about ur new neighbour. end up also dunno how 2 write. cos gotta write about their daily habits about hygiene i think. can't remember. means i can't write about them talking very loud all that. so i crashed the paper again. realise i left about only 40 min 2 finish my paper. i was very anxious at that point of time. so i end up writing about online blogging. the title was.."nowadays people use online blogging 2 vent their anger. what do U think." so i wrote lorr. quite a lot. but dunno can or not. ms toh was afraid i guess, when she saw me writing so little when there's soo little time left. it's like, i'm stuck at paragraph 2 when it's 30 min left. then she walked 2 me n stand there n c. well well, lucky i manage 2 finish writing. THE CLASS BSIDE US WAS SOO NOISY!!!! n i could hardly concentrate. but i tired. i wrote quite a lot. then i talked 2 ms toh after that. she said."saw U writing a lot. haiya, should b alright de." she thought i din finish at 1st. cos i told her damn hard 2 concentrate. she got a shock. =x finally everything's over. bleahh. whole class was like madd. every1 seems 2 has an urge 2 leave.
i gotta stay then. they left already. so went back 2 class since i gotta wait 4 an hr. then was doing the book. it was hard. even xiangling agreed. orhh, xiangling was bside me at that time cos she's trying 2 complete her dnt folio. she left around 115pm n i was left alone. soo sleepy. nearly fall asleep twice. went 2 office around 215pm. din realise it's soo late. the sch was soo empty without the upper sec.. hmm, so did chem outside the staffs' room. it was really stress. cos i blurr out. so hard 2 concentrate. after an hr, i was asked 2 go home. cos i looked sleepy. n i din realise that i was asking the same type of qns over n over again. i really din realise. it's like.. BLURR. then on my way back. really gonna DIE. reached home, n i fall asleep..
-haii. i really dunno when can i b happy again. i know i should care. but.. it's like.. everything wasn't like this last time. though i predict this would happen but i dun expect it 2 b soo fast n at this period. it's 2 sudden 4 me. n i got really tense up. cos here i m trying 2 concentrate, there they r.. haii. tues, that happened. all the broken pieces. now?! 6 became 5. he hardly come back n now he's saying no 1 bothers about him n he likes 2 b alone. i guess they had found out things about him that i realise long ago. well. he can't hide 4ever. he care no less. only care about her lahh. as if it's gonna b eternity. feel that it's soo unstable. n what he do is only mess my room up, well, what else n who else. everyday i came back home, i can't have a break. gotta pack what he had done. he's older than me, mind U. he can hardly b back. but feel that even he gets 2 come back, he often go 2 her house. so not much diff. i'm always alone in this room. or out. it's not only the stuffs gotta b broken. the whole thing gonna b broken. guess it had already been slowly breaking. maybe no 1 realise. well, i know what's happening soon.. why. ='((
9:13:00 PM
