Sunday, April 23, 2006
i really dunno if i've made the right choice. but.. i've decide. so.. should b alright. it's 141am now. i'm blank out. studied in the afternoon.
what i've decided, what's in my mind. i'm sure of it. but i dunno whether i can make it. i know i'm not smart. i knowi gotta work hard. i know i need 2 b discipline enough 2 tell myself,
YES or
NO. i know i should have earlier on. but dumb me. well, since i've made the move. shall not bother. though was stuck in the middle. but.. haiya, whatever. guess i didn't made the wrong choice, choose the wrong path. sometimes i really dun wish 2. but once again, well, look, i dunno how 2 express it. just feel that.. i'm 2 timid. i'm 2 "anything." but.. but.. haii. if i choose 2 b sturborn, i'm just looking 4 trouble. cos he's not going 2 b happy, with me, n her. he's going 2 scold her. shout at her. i know what's going 2 happen. i can't let it happen. if i didn't do it, me, myself going 2 b doom. i should plan. it's 4 my own gd. i can't let him influence me. no way!! what m i thinking. =\ dumbo dumbo XJ!!
gonna study now. shh..
it's late. n i'm tired. i can't find my smile, anymore. i can't fake a smile anymore. cos i'm tired.
>sorry, i just blurt everything out. cos i'm really confuse. i know i shouldn't have did it. but.. sorry. it's not her fault. cos i choose this path myself. she's not in the situation. i know U'll b mad at me if U know this. but.. i can explain 2 U, if U're willing 2 calm down n listen 2 me. just 4 once..
1:42:00 AM