Monday, March 27, 2006
well, dun ask me why m i sick again. lol. *cough cough. haiya, i dun bother 1, as long as i get enough sleep n b alert. guess how bad my cough is?! saturday my voice was horrible. but i cannot dun shout. bcos it's performance what. hee. that day was the most horrible day. cos of my voice n also, my eye got swollen. i dunno why. i din't watch porn n i wun lahh. that's stupid. my left eye just swollen n red. well, impossible 4 me not 2 go performance cos of this little sickness right. sun, it's getting better though still got that horrible voice. n i keep mis pitch. haha. sorry marc n shir. lol. they gotta tolerate it 4 the whole sun. mon! it's certainly getting better!! =p though som eof my classmates still got a shock when i speak. lol. n the worst thing is, i 4get 2 bring my water bottle along with me 2day. whole day without water. piang! n i got blister on my leg. it's soo pain. wanted so much 2 wear sandals. but it look so awkward yeahh. lol.
2day lessons were all soo horrible!! i cannot stop myself from dozing off. esp during the change of period between geog n mt. i fall asleep. till my chi teacher woke me up. well, my saliver was on the corner of my geog notes. lol. n ms toh got a shock of her life. lol. DISGUSTING. my apology!! so i got back 2 work. recess was crapping with jinmin, kaipeng, yuanchao n xiangling. actually plan 2 sleep. lol. everything was.. fine?! till chem lesson. ms seah seems soo bad mood. maybe cos she was tired rushing out out chem test yet every1 asked her 4 postpone. i was lucky enough!! jinmin asked me 2 ask ms seah 4 a postpone but i told her dun want. guess if i'm also 1 of those who asked her, she'll yell at me. so everything started bad 4 chem. the test was soo hard!! even a few mcq questions made me puke. it's soo complicated. n i got scared. started doing section b. lucky still know a bit of calculation which i memorize. came 2 the vol. part. gosh. i was stunned. cos i 4gotten everything that i've studied. i almost burst in2 tears. the urge of wanting so much 2 do well, already studied yet blank out at last min. what the s***!! i got soo angry with myself n i'm seriously anxious. start 2 force myself 2 think n put my paper on lap. that's what i usually do what. but who knows got scolded by ms seah. guess she though i'm cheating. well well.. if i m, i wun b making it soo obvious right. n i wun cheat. esp chem lahh. so just put on my table 2 do after that. damn unhappy over it. =\ whatever! tried 2 concentrate then. really cannot recall. so end up just write down what i know. n hopefully got bit of mark here n there. yes yes, i was upset. luckily din cry lahh. then walked 2 gombak since no remediations. woo. can sleep. really half dead. being autistic again. though was walking with xiangling, mel, jinmin n yanjing. but i din speak much. just walk behind them. really wanna b alone i guess. so reached home. on my songs n SLEEP!! after an hour, i woke up bcos of a phone call. it's soo soft, dunno why i'll wake up. then didn't pick up. end up trying 2 call back but cannot get through. know whats the most stupid thingy is?! when i woke up, i though it was tues n no 1 wake me up 2 sch. n i got soo scared. thought that some1 called n scold. lol. cos tues is a band day. maybe i'm really 2 tired or what. yeahh yeahh. the call was horrible lahh!! gonna wake up n do. actually dun wanan wake up 1. but think if i dun, she will get it from him. so i guess i better do it fast. was still half sleeping. just edit a bit then called again 2 get his e-mail add lorr. then it's like.. i'm soo dead. n her voice really wake me up, cos noisy mahh. =x no lahh. just happened 2 b alert already. i didn't stay out late yesterday night anyway. i stayed till 11 plus only. then reached home do my stuffs n slept at 2. haiya.!!
'did i disappoint You or let You down. guess i 've lose You. maybe not physically. but mentally. i rather the other way round..
10:50:00 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
ermm.. had been thinking. should i still stay in sports leader?? really dunno. haii. why?! why being in something means U want the points, U want the autority?! not that. not that 4 me. i'm not going 4 all these. i'm going 4 the interest. i do it cos i want 2. i'm interested 2. i'm chosen 2. i wanna help. i want 2 b in sports leader even though i dun have much friends there cos i feel that sports is part of me. i might not b gd in it, i'm interested. but. haiya. how can i phrase that. i might not b the best sports leader, the most enthu 1. but i'll try. cos i'm given the opportunity 2. being a leader is not an easy task. esp the head of it. certainly know about this. even being a small rep in class is not an easy task. dun talk about being a leader in an organisation. U must b responsible in anything U do or even not ur fault, U gotta hold on 2 it. U must b prepared 4 anything. anything can occur. just prepare 4 the worst. being a leader is not about scolding. it's about leading n how U guide the upcomings ones. n make sure everything's go smooth n well. being a leader went through thick n thin. U'll become more understanding than the others. n learn more than others. others might not understand U. thinking U abuse ur autority. well, it's not about that. it's about how U go about leading. that's my point of view. the level of stress is high. n people dun understand what U going through. they'll never get 2 b. if they're sad, defitnitely the leader will feel 10 times worst. U'll never know, cos U never understand the position of a leader. well well.. why m i saying all these arr?? i'm not sure as well.. ermm.. the main point is. should i stay?? actually i wanted 2. he said he dun want me 2 b in cos she keep telling him 2 ask me out. well, stop. dun blame her. know she's actually worried that i got 2 much 2 do. n she's helping me actually. it's really touching. n i know, if i really take up 2 much activities, i will. but on the other hand, i want 2 participate. not bcos of points. bcos of interest. well, saw that expression. that's why now i'm thinking..
my cough is getting worst. i'm soo manly. "well, sexy!!" that's what my mum told me instead. LOL!! then asked me take pills. yucks, not again. the blue pills. well well, nice blue. ha. 5 pills U know!! bleahh!! sore throat is A BIT better. =p 2day everything should b fine. n glad it is. just that it was soo humid!! lol. n i was really busy, packing. lol. threw everything in my bag, every1's rushing. i got so many 2 take. haha. yeahh yeahh, rubbish bin. my tbone zip is spoilt again!! soo sad.. =( no sticker 2 put. keychain cannot b use lahh. no point putting keychain there. cos my zip will b gone soon. ha. hope my tbone wun fall out anymore. sadd sadd.
everything was soo funny just now. cannot stop laughing. esp marcus tan lahh. lol. n the chicken damn oily lorr. eee.. i dun like!! but have 2 eat 2 SAVE FOOD!! haha. it's ex k. so marc n me ate it. lucky din eat other things lahh. soo horrible. they were soo full as well. then thinking of ways 2 finish the food. lol. was thinking can throw on floor say drop. LOL!! badd right. but wasn't a bad idea as well. hee. =p then if some1 was alone walking, U'll walk 2gether right?? i just sorta dun dare. not bcos of anything. maybe it cos.. ermm.. U CANNOT KNOW!! haha. something lahh. then just walk lorr. even though so much desire 2 walk with You. ahh.. never mind. i was actually dumb. always got the chance 2 but choose not 2. dunno, dunno dunno.
well, till i got the courage 2 say 2 You.. .. ..
12:40:00 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
had been a week since i update. had been busy, guys. need 2 do 35 same old thing. lucky not 70. n more work 2 study on. my section is up n down. dunno when will they b gd or when will they b bad. well, worried. they r having lots of problems between each other. n i can't b always there 4 them. haii. hope it will b fine then. had been checking on them nowadays. hope i can solve the problems n PEACE 2 THE TROMBIST!! bleahh..
sch life. well, what else. more 2 cope on. arghh!! my poa. guess i really need 2 work on it myself rathering than depending on mr ho. ermm, ss?? well, mrs sng's stories r interesting but dunno why i feel sleeping in her class. hey hey, hadn't been sleeping during lesson 4 long. hee. woo!! mr lim rocks!! =p he said he LOVES our class. with that smile on his face. lol. din know he's soo sweet. n din know he loves us SOOO much. lol. r we THAT GREAT?! orhh well.. hmm, chem?? isn't badd lahh.. out class always bond well with ms seah. lol. i mean, we always have real fun with ms seah around. but when she's tired, no 1 knows n make her angry. n when she's angry.. ermm.. U know what will happen yeahh?? chinese chinese!! getting boring. nowadays just do n hand up do n hand up. did i really learn?!! math, WOO!! YKK. haha. ms yeo is as usual lahh. her LOUDNESS always make me soo awake in class. reflection is soo funn!! =p madam rita's phy lesson r BORING!! but i TRY 2 concentrate lahh.. herr action always make me laugh n make fun of. haha, know i'm badd. well, if i ain't, there won't b laughter yeahh?? lol. seems like geg is being left put?? haha. ms yeo is great as usual. her patience. woo. all my teachers r great lahh. =) nowadays like keep studying. no hmwk bahh. except poa. yesterday was really sick. i mean, having a serious headache n felt giddy whole way through. like.. so DEAD. well, i didn't die!! hee. try 2 carry on. fever in the morning but get well soon maybe around evening. then my sore throat till now. a bit of cough. my voice must b MANLY. LOL!! my troat is soo painn!! n my water finished soo quickly. hate it mann. 2day dun even have time 2 have lunch n i was SOO HUNGRY throughout the remediations. really ungry like MADD!! lol. 1st time right?! =p
i'm getting tired again. orhh well.. not surprise. yesterday night feel like vomitting, slept at 10 plus. lol. din revise. 2day i wun!! i wanna revise ss n chem. then can sleep. YES XIAOJUN U MUST!! n i dun wanna disappoint those who really stand by me n want me 2 do well. esp those teachers lorr. like ms toh they all. n her. haha. well well.. i'll try. even my mum. =)
ermm.. i did miss You. but i didn't dare 2 contact You. afraid that i'm disturbing You resting. hope You're fine. haha. orrh.. ermm.. what m i saying. *blush. just take care lahh!! =)
10:27:00 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
haiya!! i'm not young anymore. HAPPY BDAY 2 ME. LOL!! i'm old ah ma le lahh. yahh yahh.
opps, just back not long ago. 2day is just like a dream rather than reality but hope she's around then. well, meet m n s at jec. we had lunch with my mum at the nearby coffee shop. then went town after that. s was colourful. with purple pants n green top. LOL!! then m was at usual lahh. PURPLE!! lol. then me?! long sleeves black n grey, with dark purple bottom. with my army bag. hee. then we went shopping around. they bought me the notebook!! soo nice. really sweet of them. then went revoltage. piang!! my wallet!! i mean my desire wallet. lol. so i bought it since i got some money. yeahh!! so glad lorr. had been eyeing that wallet since last yr. now offer some more. haha. yeahh yeahh!! wallet wallet!! went walking around fareast after that. m wanted 2 pierce. s n me got soo frightened!! lol. i'm timid, i admit. lol!! U can't deny that right. well, i told them."i think craft got." cos the shop really look as if it has. so really went in n m asked. really got mann!! orhh my gosh. so s n me thought our life end here. hahah!! cos relaly scared lahh. then m pierce 1st. the 3rd hole on the left ear. then my turn. gosh. really scared. i hold s's hand tight. LOL!! n she told me it's really TIGHT. =x then mine is upper part some more. pain lehh!! but seems okie lahh. not like what i imagine. lol. then s's turn. she also hold my hnd real tight. lol. n now we 3 got the ear hole!! orhh mann. heard that my ear was really red. =x relaly can't imagine. now i got the hole there. i mean we 3 got it at the same time. LOL!! i was damn thristy after that. keep bugging them stop shopping n i wanna have a drink. they keep asking me why ain't transfering 2 new wallet. they dun even let me have a seat!! hahah. actually went coffee bean but realise coffee bean is 4 sitting down n chat. we want something really can kill the thrist. so went delifrence. oppes, did i mention is saw ele at far east. she called me lahh.. so LOUD!! lol. okie okie, so delifrance service was not that gd. din even bother about us when we were waiting 2 b serve. wei wei, young adult cannot go there is it!! ermm, the body shop there really big. lol!! yahh, so i got my wallet transfer. hee. then went hereen. well, nothing much lahh .went every week, now seems like everything is the same. out NUM sandals ain't here yet. s wants white, i want black n white, m wants white n black. hee. soo nice.. then went cineleisure. arghh!! SNOWBELL is sold out!! soo irritated n sadd. can't get SNOWBELL 4 s., sorry!! then took neoprint. memories mahh. really cool. hee. M.E.S is BACK!! =p though received her msg saying that she's can't watch movie, a bit sadd, seriously. i was a bit down at that point of time. but i just.. smile lahh. cannot spoil the day mahh. hee. then was smsing her all along already. funny enough, she asked me what i'm doing. weird right?! then ginger called say wanan meet me, then steady lorr. she asked me ask my bro along. so i ask lorr. after soo much pursuding, finally my bro came. hee!! din expect them 2 treat lahh. just ask them along 2 have dinner at nydc with us. well, tell U what, the ambience really weird. i felt soo awkward in between, lucky got her smsing me. then i told her. haha. then she said lucky she wasn't there. i felt that it will b BETTER if she's there lorr!! lol. then ginger finally came. we had our dinner. wahh, 2day a lot of people bday sia.. a lot singing bday song. my bro asked me stand up n say thank you. LOL!! lame right. then my sweet bro go order cake lorr!! i din know. was glad lahh. it had been years 4 me 2 have bday cake. LOL!! feel soo YOUNG. n took some photo. i feel soo.. honoured. bcos of me, my bro came. bcos of me, nydc off the fans, ten every1 cannot have cooing environment lorr!! cos the candles lorr. then bcos of me, m n s went 2 ask the person 2 have nydc sticker on my notebook lorr. then nydc bcos of me, paste a happybday on my notebook as well. SOO SWEET LORR!! it's really like a dream than reality, well, wish You were here. ermm., then my bro paid lorr. soo ex!! 100 over bucks U know. haiyo. waste money!! then ginger n my bro went off. left the 3 of us again. s needed 2 go. so we sent her 2 mrt. then we walked back again. nothing much 2 shop. so took mrt. laming in mrt again. took some "ARTISTIC" photos. lol!! got a few in my comp now. =x hee. then went jec mac n have a drink. then went home. m asked me 4 k box 2moro. nahh, dun wanan spend money on that. SORRY!! but thanks guys. tis yr bday really a sweet 1. n realise lots care 4 me. =)
[[XIAOJUN wearing the BRACELET n spray OCEANUS.]] hee!! some will get it bahh. yeahh. i love everything, dun worry. n will wear the bracelet, decided, i wun take it off if i dun have 2. or maybe i'll put in my wallet, all the time. so it will b with me all along. i will wear it. i did wear it 2day!! just that U din c it mahh. i really love that lahh, dun worry, will like anything You give. really wish You were there. wish You happy as well. =) hee, Oceanus. MES know i like it best. =p
thanks every single 1 of U that send me bday msg, wishes. thanks those we even gave me presents. thanks those who pei me out. thanks those phone calles. haha, weiting. =) thanks 4 at least remembering. THANK YOU!! =)
XIAOJUN CHERISH..
1:31:00 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
[SWISS WINDS presents SWISS SERENADE 2006.]. 9th april 2006 430pm ngee ann poly. tickets at 15 bucks each. hope 2 c U there!! =)
well, need 2 inform U guys swiss winds is performing!! hee. hope 2 c U guys there.
life has it's up n down. i'm currently facing the down n nothing 4 me 2 b happy about. just like fri. really soo damn sadd about every single thing. this n that. make me soo much wanting 2 give up. i walked out, trying 2 leave myself alone n cool myself down b4 i break down. i nearly. but i hold on 2 it. thanks shir n zhiyuan. lol. they talked 2 me. esp shir. well, then we sit at a corner. that day was really bad 4 the both of us. felt soo restless n not motivated anymore. went straight 2 mrt with shit that day. we walked slowly n we had a long talk. so long din meet up, we got soo much 2 update each other. then we decided 2 sit at the gombak mrt 2 talk. haii. it's really sad. this n that happened. around 8 plus, she gotta went off. so off i went 2 jurong east interchange as usual with lots of books in hand. soo heavy!! really tired. feel like throwing away all my books n shout. was smsing her along the way. well well, i seriously feel better. =) then actually wanna meet but went home 1st. i didn't eat 4 the whole day. so hungry. decided 2 meet marc 1st. he's at work. so gotta wait till his work end. around 11 plu si think. we went jec 2 eat mac. i treat him ice lemon tea. hee. then i had my nuggets meal as usual. was soo full after that n we were chatting. ermm, end up didn't meet her up cos her friend was upset n she wants 2 accompany her friend as well. she's sweet right. went home around 1 plus. received her msg. guess she's home real late that fri.
sat prac was a bit.. well, tbone sound wasn't there still. n hope nic didn't give up. really sad 2 hear that he's the 1 who make the whole sect. horrible. he's my junior n i'm worried 4 him. the feeling like.. dunno. i feel that he's sad, depress, guilty. can c that he wanting so much 2 run out n cry. so i shouted at him."stupid nic!! U gonna give up?? U better blow properly." haha. n i saw his smile. so cute as b4. but i know he's still sad inside. after band, went mac 2 have lunch. having my nuggets meal again. with jas, shir n huishi. saw the rest of them eating inside. haiya, can't buy my wallet after returning van money. well, since it's soo long n she needs the money, so i return. but was sad that i can't get my wallet. had been from last yr till now ehh. ermm, shall save up again. went home after that 2 change. waiting 4 marc 2 come my house. he wanna use comp. haha. then i bathe all that. decided 2 go bugis since no time 4 town. his tranining is cancelled again. n he will b having campfire on sun so took the chance 2 go out on sat. haha. he wear till damn casual so he wanted 2 go home n change. his purple revoltage shirt n grey pants again. LOL!! what else, yeahh. then we spent 10 bucks each 4 neoprint. haha. soo cool. =p n we miss shir!! so sms her. lol. really miss those days going out with her. she seems soo stuck at home nowadays. but she promise me 2 come out on the 15th. =p then it seems late. i got hungry. actually wanted 2 eat nydc. marc asked her out. but her reply damn slow. lol. then we took train n were crapping on train. taking stupid pix. hahah. damn funny 1. can ask marc. lol. then reached jec, so not having nydc. had mac AGAIN. n i had my nuggets meal AGAIN. wanna vomit le lahh. haha. then marc was smsing her lahh. dunno what. but know that she's having migrane so sms her, kinda worried 2. but she told me she's okie. yahh lorr. she everything also okie de. =( hope she' really okie lahh. miss her. =) home around 12 plus i think. MARC DIN SEND ME HOME!! haha. lousy pigg!! then after that, din even bathe then sleep already. really tired esp band prac day.
2day was another boring day without going town n nydc. lol!! marcus tan lorr. LOL!! he'll smack me hard if he read this. well, i spent my day sleeping. now tired again. lol!! had stomachache in the afternoon cos i ate uncooked spicy noodles. stupid lahh, the hot water is not even hot. then i dunno. but i ate everything. bleahh!! it's awful. then sleep around 4 plus. din wake up 4 dinner. so cooked my own dinner. damn full now. =\ had a cup of green tea!! =p hee.
SHIRLEY!! 15th arr!! =D
miss miss miss. yahh lahh, miss You lahh. ;-p
11:35:00 PM
Thursday, March 09, 2006
i'm studying POA currently!! n it's 12 plus. guess i'll study till 2 plus. i'm soo scared. 'xiaojun, have U study ur poa?? i had complaint from 4n2 that it's difficult huhh..' that what mr ho told me when he saw me in the canteen while i wait 4 twt 2day. she's soo late lorr!! wait le also no use, end up got kenneth pei her, so i also go home myself. hehh, i'm used 2 being alone. even if i'm not alone, i dun like 1 whole group of people. so it's okie, twt. she kept pulling me here n there. gosh. what's wrong with the BM!! =D yahh lahh yahh lahh, biscuits. N UR PROMISES HELLO!! dun 4get about me worr!! i believe U can. can even b better than me. =)
i wanna let go. but everytime i want 2, i can't. the feeling is horrible. the feeling of thinking, confusion, hurt or even jealousy?? well well, i dunno!! i know that i feel terrible 2day n i can't even fake a smile. it's stupid of me lahh, yes it's stupid. 2 know it's soo impossible but my heart keep holding on 2 it. i dun wanna think of it. but i cannot stop missing. it just keep appearing in my mind. U know what's the best way 2 let go?? maybe it's hatrate. do U think i should?! sometimes i really wish 2. but i really dun bear 2. that's how much i fall in2 it. more that what i expected. 1st i used 2 deny, i told myself NO. CANNOT. but he told me it's okie. follow what ur heart says. n i realise, yes, i can't deny anymore. but i intend 2 b the guardian angel then. 2 c the smile. 2 c some1 giving the happiness. 2 b carefree. 2 give YOU the very best.
XIAOJUN, YOU SUCK.
12:05:00 AM
Saturday, March 04, 2006
i dun wanna RUNAWAY but i CAN'T take it i DUN understand.
yes, i wanna carry on, i dun wanna give up. i dun wanna RUNAWAY. but i can't hold on 2 2 many things. i CAN'T take it, i can't b the superwoman, who needs 2 bother about every single things that happening. yes, i did say b4 i'll b there 2 help, but doesn't mean U can take advantage of me. n i need ur understanding. n i DUN UNDERSTAND what U want from me so that U can b satisfied. it awlasy seems soo wrong. i've changed. sometimes i really dun wish 2 screamed n people around me asked why i fret over this sorta stuffs while i should b concentrating on other more important stuffs. well, my ans is, I DUNNO. n i wish i know..
the tbone sect. i used 2 b in, well, no more..yes, i should care 4 them more n let them realise that they r important 2 the sect. n belong 2 the sect. but, i need ur support.
soo sick 2day. or rather not that sick lahh. just that my stomach is not obedient again. woke up at 6 n i got diarrhoea. went 2 the toilet a few times n tossing around my bed. finally woke up 4 band. was running like madd when reached, hope everything's fine..
XIAOJUN, GET A LIFE!!
10:26:00 PM
