Tuesday, February 28, 2006
i dunno what can i do 2 smile.
2day wasn't a day 4 me. things just dun go right. woo, believe it or not. i'm really upset after 2day assembly. dun even have a chance 2 explain. but it's really wasn't my fault. okie, shan't talk about it. blame myself 4 being the most obvious 1?! dunno lahh. really angry, really upset. dunno how 2 express that out. can only get soo upset even my face turn red. n people asking me 2 cool down. then yy's sound just can't b improve. n it's soo hard 4 her 2 understand what we trying 2 do. yes, she felt unfair. but have it always b fair 4 me?? well, ur call. i wun day anything anymore. then more i do, the more people think i'm unfair or what so ever. never mind 4 that. after band, my black shoes cannot b found. dunno why end up 2 another corner. everything just not right n i really feel like shouting out loud. walk away like wind. then walk very slowly with shir 2 the mrt station. as usual, i stayed at the interchange. cos i'm down. always do that. suddenly a lot of smses. then reply. haiya. dunno lahh, anyway, sorry 4 being rude. really not in the mood, my apology 4 this. yes, U can scold me. go ahead. i wun talk back, i wun b rude anymore. thanks 4 concerning me n ask about me. it's weird. everytime i feel that she's unreasonable n i got soo frustrated about it, that something that cool me down. her caringness. always cool me down after a day of frustration. sometimes really find that she dun give me a chance 2 explain i got really pissed. but end up always 4get about it. well, 2day just not my day. i feel soo annoyed by every little thing. yeahh, call me dumbo, bash me up. wake up my idea. so i wun b upset anymore. though i feel a bit better after smsing with her, but guess the main reason of my upsetting will not b solve. but You really know the way of fixing a broken heart.
what marcus said was not wrong. but i can never do that. i know i shouldn't, it's impossible. i must well remain this way in case of anything happen?? 2day, actually i decide 2 let go. but once again, i can't after those smses. well, maybe like what she said." ur mind can't overtake ur heart, just let it b there." i shall not bother no matter how i suffer. i'll let it b there.
10:21:00 PM
Sunday, February 26, 2006
miss miss miss!! haiya. i'm missing some1 again. soo dead. bleahh!!
went town 2day with marcus. we r both slacker. well, miss out shir, she can't come out. then actually ask her out but seems like she's soo busy. then never mind lorr. cos was thinking he can tell her his problems mahh. well, it was a fine day except 4 weird jinwei non stop smsing. well, din reply 4 some lahh. he's.. SOO WEIRD!! haiya. whatever!! =p had dinner at hereen nydc again. n we promise each other 2 go there again next week. know what, 2 gays were sitting bside us. we can't stop looking at them though we dun want 2. they were sweet lahh. lol. then sit there 4 a very long time n chit chat. the usual stuffs we used 2 chat about. out problems all sort of craps. then was thinking of some1 lahh. haiya. shh. ermm, then he was busy smsing i guess. so we were quite quiet on the train. well, the train stinked. then waited 4 333 n off i went. he took train mahh. dunno what i bought. 40 bucks was gone like this. just a door hanger on my bag n spent 6 bucks on the machine. orhh!! cineleisure food court is horrible lahh. the dessert wasn't nice at all. 2 bucks some more. soo ex. should have go westmall. hahah!! my fav. ermm, reached home around 10 plus goin on 11. then have shower. arghh, so jinwei smsed me again. he really weird lehh. but she also got sms me lahh. very weird also. suddenly sms n say nothing then never reply liao. wahh lauu, actually waiting 4 her reply 1. never mind lahh. must b sleeping liao. it's not early now 2. 12 plus liao. i go study test. 2moro got assembly 2 perform. my uni is not prepare yet!! gosh.
hope she's fine. =)
11:59:00 PM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
how i wish everyday blogging will b about something gd. something take makes me smile. yeahh, guess i'll wait 4 that day. maybe 2moro, maybe a yr later. i can't predict cos my life is up n down. sometimes it's so hard 4 me 2 smile 4 a few days. yet i still smile. cos that's the only way 2 fake it through. well, what can i do then?! i got more than enough things 2 feel down about.
just like 2day.. a day i feel like collasping once again. the day i nearly burst in2 tears when i heard it. when i saw it. n when i feel it, my tears nearly roll down. but dun worry, i'm strong enough 2 carry on. yes, i'm upset, i'm paranoid, i'm frustrated. but who can really feel what i'm going through?! well, maybe her. or rather marc?! shir?! they still can't b the 1 who feel exactly how i feel right. but i dun mind lahh. just that.. haii. should i say or not. okie, wait. what m i trying 2 express here?! or rather, this kinda sadness cannot b express. i can feel the load hanging on my heart. n i'm being dragged down by the load. n load can never b unload. till some1 realise.. orhh yahh, what m i saying again..
i got my reason of not going actually. being a hamburger again?! bleahh.
HAPPY BDAY TING. STAY COOL N SMILE ALWAYS. =)
12:02:00 AM
Monday, February 20, 2006
i'm confused. pls, dun let me feel this way anymore. it's terrible.
2day was a weird day. no remedials. everything was cancelled. then 2 chem lessons bcome 1. so dismissed early so went lunch with yanjing at lot 1. so many band memebers around. not a safe place 4 dating then. =x hee. after went off. know what, i fall asleep in the train. lucky i woke up on time. when opened my eyes, saw "JURONG EAST." i was shocked n quickly walked out. lol. then in bus 333, well, trying hard 2 open my eyes. hee. reached home n fall asleep soon after. shir's sms woke me up this time round. about 6 plus. i dun care n continue sleeping. till around 7 plus i think. cos twt is facing some problems. so decide 2 wake up. then chatted with her on phone. well, what else. she loves 2 tease me. say i kiddish!! fine fine. then received a lot of msg. around 4 at 1 go that kind. haha. surprisely jinwei is 1 of them. feel so weird contacting him again. pls say NOO!! hopefully marcus' thinking was wrong. then now doing my hmwk. got phy test. haiyo. scared of test. next week got chem test. metals i still a bit blurr. scared scared!! =
wei wei, dun b sad or what bahh. it's just a girl n everything will b fine. got mee mahh. haha. though i'll can't make U smile more like how she let U smile. ermm, sad 4 U lorr. after soo many weeks then this happened. was surpirse n think she's lying. think she's not prepared. n the only way 2 let U 4get, is 2 tell U that. hope U r feeling better. always sms U never reply 1. haiya. well well, typed till here, he called me. lol!! telling me campus superstar 1. lol. seems like he's fine 2 me. hope he's not hiding. =)
ahhh!! i feel horrible 2day. dunno what's the main reason. hopefully not bcos i miss U.
11:39:00 PM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
a fine day 4 me. wait, night i mean. a fine night 4 me. morning was horrible day. thought JK gotta lie n break her promise again. though i trust her n try my best 2 help, thought she wun bother. finally, saw her 2day, n she didn't disappoint me. i'm glad then. my sect., my sect., my sect.. "TBONE!! U SUCK AT IT." this sentence is loud n clear enough. got soo stress out 4 a moment. freak out i guess. seems like no 1 bothers n no 1 is helping me. so, what did i do wrongly?!
had a fine night. or rather, fun?! =) but my blister. gosh. very pain, i dare not touch it. 2 plaster at 1 go what do U think. lol. thanks lots. =) talk a lot lahh. then feel very close lorr. cos had never thought that's some1 who actually the situation of his. n guess he's more relief than ever. though i know she'll b understanding enough but he had never want 2 talk 2 her about it. surprisely, she understands him n feel that.. GD LORR. haha. i did say mine. but my story not very nice. hahah. nothing much except 4 the cutting part. but not serious de, i very healthy. =) okie lahh, talk a lot 2day. saw 4 gays. eww, they stare at us. n i got scared mann. lol.
question of the day, what will U do when U suddenly feel that U r stepping more n more in2 it?! i.. a bit scared, a bit blurr. should i act as if nothing happen n continue?! hmmm..
12:45:00 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
if they hate it, dun like it. they can get out of the class anytime. sick of it mann. they r unreasonable. they r not understanding at all. they dunno what's going on. they just do what they want n claim that they ain't at fault. what's going on mann. i had enough. if they dislike it, they can get out if the class. i hate them, 4 hurting her. i hate them, 4 not being mature. i hate them, 4 being not understanding enough. i hate them, 4 hating her. n, i hate them. they can do what they want, they can choose 2 change a teacher, i'll choose NOT 2 bother. they want a change right, i'll take the challenge. i know what i'm doing n i'll do what i wanna do. they can detest me by then. like how they detest her. fine with me, i shan't bother. even if the whole class hate me, okie, let it b. cos i know what i'm doing n if they dunno how 2 think, they disagree with me, yes, i'll not bother!! HATE IT!! get lost if U guys dun wanna bother. GET AWAY!! BOO!!
11:46:00 PM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
now is 118am 4 ur info. had finished chem n math. congrates 2 me. hee.
2day band prac was okie. din get 2 talk 2 my sec 1s 2day. but i think i sound fierce. saw their "SHOCK" face. well, i've learnt. if dun teach from the start, they will rebel n wun b able 2 b a gd trombonist. so i rather b the bad guy 4 now. then took them drill. they were a bunch of fun loving 1. guess i'll enjoy a few month more b4 passing out. or rather, passing down 2 weiting's batch. had tried 2 guide them still. i hope they ask questions though. n all majors shall sit 2gether n have a nice talk. well, things will b better i guess. after band prac, shir n me got quite crazy. were fooling around with marc till we have 2 lock the door. it's 7 then. all teachers had left. so got the permission from an auntie 2 put the keys on her table. yeahh, it had been long 2 step in2 the staff soom again. n her table is messy as usual. lol. full of stuffs arr. then went off with shir n marc after that, heading 2 JEC again. guess our slacking places r limited. =p they wanted me 2 call her again but i refuse. we were doing our hmwk n studying at mac. i did some math questions with the help of marc n shir. really thanks lots guys!! they really tolerate my blurness n taught me step by step. it's about 9 n my mum called. went all the way 2 JEC 2 buy that earrings. haha. how vain?! lol. =x then walked 2gether. back 2 my HDB n they went off 2 the bus stop. din accompany them. 2 person is enough i guess. hahah. it's late. so everything is soo late. dinner is late 4 me n hmwk is late 4 me. but i didn't stop doing, till now..
smsing 3 person just now at 1 go. esp her arr.
well, wanna tell her that i meant what i say. DAJUN!! =) haha. she's know what i mean.marc n shir, thanks 4 the help. really love U guys. =)
1:09:00 AM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
2day prac was horrible 4 me. my sect. got scolded badly n i'm seriously annoyed by this. cos i dunno what's wrong. it's more than just the sound we producing.
went 2 the 2nd coffee shop with shir. then after lunch we sat there 4 quite a few hrs 2 talk, yahh, we always got things 2 talk about. every1 seems bz n 2day, it left the both of us 2gether. marc went 4 his training. went home about 4 plus n after reaching home, i fall asleep. woke up around 8 plus 2 take a look at my phone n replied msg. then fall back 2 sleep. sleep till now. look how tired i m. n seriously i'm that tired. felt uncomfortable now cos my back is aching, my knee is painful. my arms r also aching. seems like whole body can't move now. only fingers typing. lol.
on fri itself, reminds me a lot. maybe i shouldn't say. cos.. haiya. nevermind. ermm, stupid fri yeahh. played bball during reccess time. with ey, sean, marc, yc n kp. all guys again. =\ then i was with kp n ey in a grp. they damn funny. keep "quarrelling" bcos 1 was SOOO TALL compared 2 another 1. but during the game, guess what, I FELL. cos sean n i was chasing after the ball, 2 save the ball i mean. then i tripped his leg n fall. n shoes flew. hahah!! i seems like a superman. then i lied down like.. DEAD. then marc kept asking me up cos classroom r all around. so i crippled n walked 2 the canteen. they bought their drinks n seems like we r late 4 lesson. so trying very hard 2 walk faster. haha. realise n my skins dropped off n blueback on my knee n elbow. soo PAIN!!
fri, another day passed. during 7 plus, met marc, with shir, went 2 IMM mac. slacking down there. forcing myself 2 ate dinner though not hungry then shir also eat a bit lorr. we sat at the corner 4 soo long!! till i got a phone call, they decided 2 go. walking back 2 my house area. they were actually teasing, crapping. but i din bother n they got.. jealous?! lol. esp that marc. then sent them 2 the bus stop. still on the phone. pei marc lame around. it's soo crappy!! we invented all kinda of marching. hee. their bus came around 11 plus n i walked back home then. parents were crapping again. esp dad bahh. always say stupid things that make me irritated. so i just closed the door of my room, talked on the phone. dun care them lorr. chatted till around 1 plus, she hanged. went 2 bathe n smsed shir. slept around 3 plus.
felt the unhappiness, heard the laughter. i hope i can help. but guess i can only listen n hope things will b fine.
4:04:00 AM
