Friday, December 09, 2005
hello. finally find some time 2 update my blog again. some people had been pestering me. okie okie, here i come. =)
i have been very busy nowadays, sorry guys, can't update that regular. do check out "my space" 2. =) just finished band dinner. well, though it did not go as sucessfully as what i thought, but finally it's over. i had a hard time on that seriously. well, some will know how i suffered. now gonna have band camp. woo.. hopefully everything will b well done then. got nothing much 2 say about things going on nowadays. i never have the time 2 rest WELL. n i mean WELL. these 2 days had scoldings from mum. she just screamed n yelled like nobody's business. yes, she blames on band, she blames me. blames me 4 having a high rank. well, what's that 4?? my family members r.. haii. they just dun wannat, dun bother 2 understand me. my mum dun wanan give me allowance, dun allow me 2 go out, wanna lock me up, cancel my phone. well, what a life. i have no life seriously. so meaningless 2 carry on. i'm getting older but they still think i'm a child. well, i know a lot since i'm a child. i undestand a lot. but no1 knows. cos i keep it 2 myself. i'm afraid 2 speak out. 4 now, i just let my mum do what she wants. she wanna beat me up, i'll accept the fact. she wanna chop me in2 pieces, i will let her b. she wanna go talk 2 HER. NO WAY 4 this. that day, i was thinking if i should leave this home, or even leave the world. well, i really dunno. i'm 2 stress out of every single thing that's happening. no matter where i go, i just can't let go, i just can't stop thinking. i will, n let me tell U, i will collaspe. it's just sooner or later. i'm having gastric from yesterday till now. instant noodles 4 dinner yesterday, n porridge 4 dinner 2day. others meals?? well, i din eat. =\ dun feel like anyway. really gonna faint anytime. just so tired out. why m i in this world in the 1st place?? haha.. *wondering. i lied, i'm arrogant, i'm stupid. so what so gd about me?? nothing. yes, nothing. n i shouldn't b here..
anyway, thanks 4 reading.. sorry 2 waste the time of urs. bleahhhhh..
2:05:00 AM