Monday, August 08, 2005
when will i recover?? not so soon i guess. or never will?? i wish i can dun care about anything 1 day, take a break from anything. no phone calls. inside my room, blast my music or sleep like no 1 cares. n no 1 wakes me up. like sleeping 1 whole day. that will b great. hahaha. so impossible.
heyy, things seems 2 b getting worst once again. i dun wanna b the 1 who sit there n let it b anymore. i wanna speak n make things slove. but often, the more i speak, she feels that i wasn't helping or supporting her. humans r funny. talking sense is wrong?? agreed with him totally, about the middle finger thing. but why is this so?? i feel so scared. i'm afraid. what will she do next 2 b the 1?? middle finger is irritating.. i mean what so gd about that?? i still feel that every1 should b the same. things must b fair. m i in the diff world?? why is it i'm the always the 1 who thinks this way. end up making my own self troubled. orhh mann, call me a stupid person then. i feel that.. i wanna a change, i'm trying very hard 2 reach 4 it but no 1 is there 2 support me. no 1 is around 2 push me up 2 help me. i want everything 2 b smooth but it's often not like this. sometimes i really dunno what 2 do. caring 2 much is useless. i was thinking, if i din start at all, everything will b so fine. cos without me thinking so much, without me trying so hard, without me..... things will b fine. cos no more troubles. yeahh?? i dunno what i want. cos no 1 seems 2 support n know what i want. haha. 2 bad, that's 2 badd.
wonder if she's still angry or upset or not. wanting 2 ask, but what if i ask, that makes her more fed up?? arghh.. why can't i remember things clearly!!!!!! punish me, 4 being a lousy 1. at least i feel better. =(
why m i being pull 2 find stones 2day?? orhh that audrey stole my ez link card away!! wasn't in the mood 2 fool around seriously. already couldn't sleep 4 a night. but at least i help aurey 2 fulfil her determination. helped her 2 dig out 1 big stone 2day. she was soo happy. her smile is nice. =)
9:21:00 PM
